A Hundred Science Fiction Films Someone Dared to Call 'Classics'
So, for Christmas 2012, my mother gave me a gift. It was a simple gift, a DVD box set, well, two actually, all about Science Fiction. I love Sci-Fi, have all my life, and after I noticed that I had never seen most of these movies, and all but one of those that I had seen were awful, I set it aside.
Until now...
So, here I'll be looking at and reviewing, somewhat limitedly, all 100 of the films in the 50 Sci-Fi Classics and Sci-Fi Invasion boxed sets. 50 films each, 100 in total. If you've got comments on any of the films, send 'em to [email protected] and I'll include 'em!
Until now...
So, here I'll be looking at and reviewing, somewhat limitedly, all 100 of the films in the 50 Sci-Fi Classics and Sci-Fi Invasion boxed sets. 50 films each, 100 in total. If you've got comments on any of the films, send 'em to [email protected] and I'll include 'em!
The Incredible Petrified World (1957)
John Carradine may have starred in more bad genre films than anyone not named Peter Cushing. This one wasn't actually terrible. It opened with a lovely false documentary, a scene that was very pretty, even in glorious black-and-white, and at the same time incredibly long. When we come out of it, we're presented with a story of a crew of a diving bell who ends up under the ocean in an series of caverns.
Let's start by saying that at 70 minutes, this is a wickedly long picture. The lack of consistent music, coupled with dialogue that seems to have been written by a pneumatic drill, make it a rather harrowing viewing. The transfer, not too clean and the sound is apparently completely untouched from whatever Super16mm version they found.
But there's some fun stuff here. The initial underwater photography is very nice, and Phyllis Coates is a bit stiff, though she has a great exchange with Sheila Noonan that's just enough cattiness to make the middle of the picture almost watchable. When they run into a wild-haired explorer who had dropped down fourteen years before, it gets worse, and weirder, and a little bit more fun, and in this case, that's the best you could hope for.
Do I recommend it? Nah, it's skippable, probably less memorable than misery-worthy, but it's got a few of those classic 1950s Sci-Fi markers that you can tell led to a bunch of other, even worse SF films in the 60s and 70s!
Let's start by saying that at 70 minutes, this is a wickedly long picture. The lack of consistent music, coupled with dialogue that seems to have been written by a pneumatic drill, make it a rather harrowing viewing. The transfer, not too clean and the sound is apparently completely untouched from whatever Super16mm version they found.
But there's some fun stuff here. The initial underwater photography is very nice, and Phyllis Coates is a bit stiff, though she has a great exchange with Sheila Noonan that's just enough cattiness to make the middle of the picture almost watchable. When they run into a wild-haired explorer who had dropped down fourteen years before, it gets worse, and weirder, and a little bit more fun, and in this case, that's the best you could hope for.
Do I recommend it? Nah, it's skippable, probably less memorable than misery-worthy, but it's got a few of those classic 1950s Sci-Fi markers that you can tell led to a bunch of other, even worse SF films in the 60s and 70s!
Queen of the Amazons (1947)
I love movies, and I've seen many that have used cliches, and many of those that turned the plot points into cliches. I'm pretty sure the seemingly disembodied hand emerging from behind the curtain was hackneyed when Queen of the Amazons was made in 1947, but it's use in the film was followed by some of the stiffest and least natural-feeling dialogue ever put to celluloid by anyone other than Ed Wood.
Queen of the Amazon might well be the worst example of using stock footage, in this case footage of an African tribe, of Victoria Falls, of African Wildlife. That footage is fascinating, but the story they've constructed around it is pretty weak, slightly racist, and a good deal less comprehensible than I'd expect.
The story is of a woman gone to Africa (played by Patricia Morison, who is still with us today at 98!) who is looking for her lover, Greg, who has gone into the jungle. With her guide Gary, who doesn't think women belong in the jungle. Greg's trying to stop Ivory poachers, but he's ended up with a tribe of Amazons!
It's not really science fiction-y, but it's actually a fair bit of fun! It's an adventure film, and the acting's better than a lot of these level of films, but it's got some charm. The documentary footage is wonderful, especially the wildlife stuff.
Of course, we eventually meet the Amazons, and somehow they live in lovely bungalows that would not at all be out of place poolside in 1940s Beverly Hills. It's weird, as is the odd mating rituals of the Amazons.
While there's a murder mystery that pops up, but isn't really dealt with, the journey and the wildlife footage is what kept me watching and not feeling like I was completely wasting my time.
Queen of the Amazon might well be the worst example of using stock footage, in this case footage of an African tribe, of Victoria Falls, of African Wildlife. That footage is fascinating, but the story they've constructed around it is pretty weak, slightly racist, and a good deal less comprehensible than I'd expect.
The story is of a woman gone to Africa (played by Patricia Morison, who is still with us today at 98!) who is looking for her lover, Greg, who has gone into the jungle. With her guide Gary, who doesn't think women belong in the jungle. Greg's trying to stop Ivory poachers, but he's ended up with a tribe of Amazons!
It's not really science fiction-y, but it's actually a fair bit of fun! It's an adventure film, and the acting's better than a lot of these level of films, but it's got some charm. The documentary footage is wonderful, especially the wildlife stuff.
Of course, we eventually meet the Amazons, and somehow they live in lovely bungalows that would not at all be out of place poolside in 1940s Beverly Hills. It's weird, as is the odd mating rituals of the Amazons.
While there's a murder mystery that pops up, but isn't really dealt with, the journey and the wildlife footage is what kept me watching and not feeling like I was completely wasting my time.
Moon of the Wold (1972)
Moon of the Wolf was an ABC Movie of the Week. While it's not Ibsen, its easily the best of the films I've watched so far. It's also the first film in color, which doesn't mean a lot, but it's also a bit more subtle, and has failings that are far more understandable.
First off, We've got David Janssen, Dr. Richard Kimball of The Fugitive, as a cop who is investigating the death of a young woman in the Bayou. She's obviously been attacked by wild dogs, but she's also been beaten and it looks like murder! It's actually a pretty well-constructed plot, and while the first portion of the film is basically a police procedural. The investigation through Louisiana bayou sorts is a little bit smarter than I expected. It's a touch slow, but it's not dull. As our Hero is wooed by a returned member of the most prominent family of the town (played with exceptional joy by the great Barbara Rush), we see how they've constructed a story where we're kept guessing and only hints are dropped towards what this film is really about.
You'll never confuse this for True Blood. It's far more restrained (ABC in the early 70s was no HBO in the New Millennium) and it doesn't quite capture the color of the bayou in the same way. It does make good use of the two main actors, and though the story does slowly unfold, a fair bit too slowly in fact, it doesn't quite bore me as much as make me wish they'd get on with it. There's a good deal of quality to this film, and I just wanted to get to more of it!
Of course, it's a werewolf. Don't go looking for American Werewolf in London-type effects here, it's pretty basic. It's also not a shock who the werewolf turned out to be, but it's well done. They give us a smart response to how Lycanthropy works and can be controlled. Yeah, it's a bit 'As You Know, Timmy' in the explaining, it's still better than most werewolf explanations. It's an attempt to make the idea work in the 'Real World', and I rather liked it. I enjoyed the way they did the reveal, and if anything, what hurts the film is the Movie of the Week format. If this had been made as a film for theatres, I'd have expected gore, and far less chatty acting.
First off, We've got David Janssen, Dr. Richard Kimball of The Fugitive, as a cop who is investigating the death of a young woman in the Bayou. She's obviously been attacked by wild dogs, but she's also been beaten and it looks like murder! It's actually a pretty well-constructed plot, and while the first portion of the film is basically a police procedural. The investigation through Louisiana bayou sorts is a little bit smarter than I expected. It's a touch slow, but it's not dull. As our Hero is wooed by a returned member of the most prominent family of the town (played with exceptional joy by the great Barbara Rush), we see how they've constructed a story where we're kept guessing and only hints are dropped towards what this film is really about.
You'll never confuse this for True Blood. It's far more restrained (ABC in the early 70s was no HBO in the New Millennium) and it doesn't quite capture the color of the bayou in the same way. It does make good use of the two main actors, and though the story does slowly unfold, a fair bit too slowly in fact, it doesn't quite bore me as much as make me wish they'd get on with it. There's a good deal of quality to this film, and I just wanted to get to more of it!
Of course, it's a werewolf. Don't go looking for American Werewolf in London-type effects here, it's pretty basic. It's also not a shock who the werewolf turned out to be, but it's well done. They give us a smart response to how Lycanthropy works and can be controlled. Yeah, it's a bit 'As You Know, Timmy' in the explaining, it's still better than most werewolf explanations. It's an attempt to make the idea work in the 'Real World', and I rather liked it. I enjoyed the way they did the reveal, and if anything, what hurts the film is the Movie of the Week format. If this had been made as a film for theatres, I'd have expected gore, and far less chatty acting.
She Gods of Shark Reef (1958)
I Knew there was going to be some Roger Corman in this set, and this one isn't one of his better pieces. It's about an island, run by "The Island Company" and the exotic and lovely women who inhabit said island. It's not exactly Citizen Kane, but the story moves very well, Corman always gets his plots moving, and it's in color, which is actually a bit maddening. You see, this transfer was obviously done from VHS. The quality is really bad. Just really bad. The sound quality's OK, but the picture has colors bleeding everywhere, and faded in other portions. I didn't expect Criterion Collection quality from this set, but this is unwatchable at times, which is a shame. It might not be one of Corman's better films, but it does work for what it is and if I can find a better transfer, I'm gonna give it another shot.
The Amazing Transparent Man (1960)
Of course, I'd seen the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode that featured The Amazing Transparent Man as the experiment of the day, but had never seen it in it's original form. It's not a great film, but it's better than many of the other films MST3K has featured.
It's a James Bond film, basically, but without a James Bond character. Krenner is formerly Military who has plans of World Domination! Mu-ha. Ha-Ha-Ha. Only Krenner is played without any maniacism. He's kidnapped a scientist to come up with an Invisibility system (using RADIATION!!!!) that he can use to build an Invisible Army that he can sell. It's a fun story, but it's so weak with the script, and the plot ain't bad, and the acting's decent for this level of film.
And one thing I really enjoyed is that it did not over-stay it's welcome. It moved at the intended speed through a plot that was designed to move at the intended speed. It was pretty smart, and I have to admit, it held my attention the entire way through, which is more than I can say for most of this collection. I didn't expect any great effects, and I didn't get any, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed it.
It's a James Bond film, basically, but without a James Bond character. Krenner is formerly Military who has plans of World Domination! Mu-ha. Ha-Ha-Ha. Only Krenner is played without any maniacism. He's kidnapped a scientist to come up with an Invisibility system (using RADIATION!!!!) that he can use to build an Invisible Army that he can sell. It's a fun story, but it's so weak with the script, and the plot ain't bad, and the acting's decent for this level of film.
And one thing I really enjoyed is that it did not over-stay it's welcome. It moved at the intended speed through a plot that was designed to move at the intended speed. It was pretty smart, and I have to admit, it held my attention the entire way through, which is more than I can say for most of this collection. I didn't expect any great effects, and I didn't get any, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed it.
The Atomic Brain (1964)
Another film that has been MST3Ked, The Atomic Brain, actually a TV edit of the film Monstrosity, is one of the worst films I've ever seen. I watched it first about a decade ago, and it's got every problem a film can have except for persistent boom mics. It's awful, incredibly difficult to watch. The story, initially told through narration, is weak, and while I could draw it out if I had to, it's not exactly the most obvious thing in the world. The effects aren't great, and while there's some nice Classic B-Movie elements, none of it is very good.
The problem is this is what happens when you try to re-create an odd mixture of The Island of Dr. Moreau and Frankenstein. In fact, they named the scientist Dr. Frank, which was a dead giveaway. On the other hand, it uses some of the most inappropriate music ever!
The problem is this is what happens when you try to re-create an odd mixture of The Island of Dr. Moreau and Frankenstein. In fact, they named the scientist Dr. Frank, which was a dead giveaway. On the other hand, it uses some of the most inappropriate music ever!
Horrors of Spider Island (1962)
OK, so I know this is a re-edited and dubbed version of a German film, and it shows. This is an awful film, though it may well have been decent in the original language. It's an oddly stiff film, and the way it was edited made it even worse.
The story, at least for the American version, is a group of dancers heading for Singapore crash onto a weird island. A weird island with some weird spider-y thing. The woman are all excellent examples of sexy burlesque-y types, and they spend a significant amount of time in the film in skimpy outfits.
The funny thing is how it seems to roll between tones. It's deadly serious at one moment, then it's lighthearted and almost joyous. There's a great fight over a shirt by two of the women, and then the Male lead tosses it to a third woman who is his favorite. It's such a dumb moment, but it's awesome in that they're fighting and that means something's actually happening that makes sense. There's some great Burlesque-style music that plays for a significant few moments. Other than that, there's nothign to like here... other than some comically bad sound effects (*>smack!<* *>slap!<*) and a few girl-on-girl fights that so on a little long and have on-lookers LITERALLY biting their knuckles while a monster attacks! And, of course, after all that, the dancers go about their crazy, kooky sexy fun with the guys on the island with 'em. It's weird. Again, another that MST3K did in their last season.
The story, at least for the American version, is a group of dancers heading for Singapore crash onto a weird island. A weird island with some weird spider-y thing. The woman are all excellent examples of sexy burlesque-y types, and they spend a significant amount of time in the film in skimpy outfits.
The funny thing is how it seems to roll between tones. It's deadly serious at one moment, then it's lighthearted and almost joyous. There's a great fight over a shirt by two of the women, and then the Male lead tosses it to a third woman who is his favorite. It's such a dumb moment, but it's awesome in that they're fighting and that means something's actually happening that makes sense. There's some great Burlesque-style music that plays for a significant few moments. Other than that, there's nothign to like here... other than some comically bad sound effects (*>smack!<* *>slap!<*) and a few girl-on-girl fights that so on a little long and have on-lookers LITERALLY biting their knuckles while a monster attacks! And, of course, after all that, the dancers go about their crazy, kooky sexy fun with the guys on the island with 'em. It's weird. Again, another that MST3K did in their last season.
The Wasp Woman (1960)
Hey, it's Roger Corman again! This is a story of cosmetics, a guy who is too close with his bees, and Royal Jelly. It stars Susan Cabot, who is one of the better genre actresses of her day. There's plenty of visual interest here, but the delivery of the lines is stiff, something that you'll almost always find in B-Movies of the 1950s and early 60s. The effects are... well, I think they barely qualify as effects, but there's still a lot of fun in this one.
What's fascinating is that this is likely the most B-movie movie I've ever seen. It's not bad, it's as good as it could be considering the budget it had and the talent they were working with. Corman elevates his work above the stuff of folks like Bert I. Gordon by being a bit more restrained in a lot of his attacks on the material. The Wasp Woman isn't a great movie, but it's really watchable, and a lot of fun.
The music and the cinematography are both really good. There's a great segment, about half-way through, where our intrepid investigator drives through town to the awesome, xylophone-driven groove. Seriously, it's awesome and jazzy and swell! The lighting's really moody, which I like, and even more impressively, it's edited in a way that isn't flashy, but it does add a bit of conflict!
The drug that they've developed has a lot of side-effects, of course, and these lead to awful make-up effects, but still, it's fun. Cabot's great, much of the supporting cast is great, and most importantly, the production is really good! Corman's flicks have been the highlight of the set so far!
What's fascinating is that this is likely the most B-movie movie I've ever seen. It's not bad, it's as good as it could be considering the budget it had and the talent they were working with. Corman elevates his work above the stuff of folks like Bert I. Gordon by being a bit more restrained in a lot of his attacks on the material. The Wasp Woman isn't a great movie, but it's really watchable, and a lot of fun.
The music and the cinematography are both really good. There's a great segment, about half-way through, where our intrepid investigator drives through town to the awesome, xylophone-driven groove. Seriously, it's awesome and jazzy and swell! The lighting's really moody, which I like, and even more impressively, it's edited in a way that isn't flashy, but it does add a bit of conflict!
The drug that they've developed has a lot of side-effects, of course, and these lead to awful make-up effects, but still, it's fun. Cabot's great, much of the supporting cast is great, and most importantly, the production is really good! Corman's flicks have been the highlight of the set so far!
Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (1965)
You know, Godzilla wasn't the only foreign film where folks took an existing foreign film and cut in recognizable stars and edited 'em in. In this case, Curtis Harrington took a Soviet science fiction film called Planet of the Storms and cut in the great Basil Rathbone! The film shows great markers of American 1960s Sci-Fi, and Soviet science fiction. First off, the Soviet (because you begin with the passed, not the remaining...). The look of this picture of gorgeous. The transfer's not great, the colors are faded significantly, but you can see some of the lovely work done with sets and matte paintings, not to mention miniatures. There's a great robot as well It has markings of Soviet SF, including a robot planning to destroy a crew member because they have to make weight. I wonder if it's as iconic among Russian Sci-Fi fans as Robbie is out this way. It's a beautiful piece and even if all the prehistoric monster-type look hideous, there's a lot of pretty pretty stuff going before my eyes!
The American? Well, it's cut together in a way that moves the story along. And the script is basically a mess. That's American B-Movie for ya!
That said, I have no idea what the hell this movie is about.
The American? Well, it's cut together in a way that moves the story along. And the script is basically a mess. That's American B-Movie for ya!
That said, I have no idea what the hell this movie is about.
Voyage to the Planet of the Prehistoric Women (1967)
Here, the opening is basically telling us 'Hey, space exploration rules!' and it's cool, as they show a very shots of prototypes and models of spacecraft and technologies that were being developed.
And then the credit for Mamie Van Doren comes up...
Let's be honest, this is a film where you know what you're getting from the beginning, moreso than any other film I've seen so far. What I didn't know was the fact that the legendary Peter Bogdanovich did the narration for it! I didn't recognise his voice because he wasn't doing his Hitchcock imitation. He also directed the film under the name of Derek Thomas. It uses footage from Planet of Storms, all of which had been used in Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet, but Roger Corman was the producer and he wanted gorgeous women in it, and he got it. Even the dubbing is the same! It's easier to follow than The Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet, only because of the narration, and it's no less pretty than that film. On the other hand, there's no Basil Rathbone, so you take the good with the bad.
And there is a fair bit of bad.
The ten minutes or so of footage that Bogs shot is OK (and the transfer has it almost completely washed-out), but the talking in those sections is awful. The head of the Prehistoric Women's God is the single most rubber thing in the Universe. Sure. there's some neat underwater shots, including one of a seashell drifting down towards the bottom of the ocean, but really, it feels so very, very weak in those moments. Still, if you're a Bogs completist, you gotta see it!
And then the credit for Mamie Van Doren comes up...
Let's be honest, this is a film where you know what you're getting from the beginning, moreso than any other film I've seen so far. What I didn't know was the fact that the legendary Peter Bogdanovich did the narration for it! I didn't recognise his voice because he wasn't doing his Hitchcock imitation. He also directed the film under the name of Derek Thomas. It uses footage from Planet of Storms, all of which had been used in Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet, but Roger Corman was the producer and he wanted gorgeous women in it, and he got it. Even the dubbing is the same! It's easier to follow than The Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet, only because of the narration, and it's no less pretty than that film. On the other hand, there's no Basil Rathbone, so you take the good with the bad.
And there is a fair bit of bad.
The ten minutes or so of footage that Bogs shot is OK (and the transfer has it almost completely washed-out), but the talking in those sections is awful. The head of the Prehistoric Women's God is the single most rubber thing in the Universe. Sure. there's some neat underwater shots, including one of a seashell drifting down towards the bottom of the ocean, but really, it feels so very, very weak in those moments. Still, if you're a Bogs completist, you gotta see it!
Kong Island (1968)
We are now in the realm of Italian films dubbed into English. It's an interested film to watch for the Cinematography. There was a way of shooting Italian pictures that's here in spades, especially a nightclub dance sequence early in the film. It's a great sequence, terribly dubbed, but what do you expect? That's followed by a fight, and a fun one. There's some fun stuff, but the dubbing is rough, and bad even for dubbed Italian genre films of the 1960s.
There;s also an ape in this one. It's not King Kong, though...
Best Line - "I'm glad we're not hunting elephants." "Hey, maybe next time, baby!"
The story is a bit hard to follow, and it looks like this is another transfer made off a VHS tape, but still, it's got those classic things you expect. There's a monster, in this case a White Ape, and it's sacred and probably evil. Of course, it's got some of that classic 1960s Jungle movie racism as well, though it's rather restrained compared to some of the other fils of the era.
The big problem is that you're hoping for things to happen, and they do, but in a start-and-stop way that doesn't allow you to build much concern for any character or particular plot point. It's not exactly dull, but you're never really excited either.
And it's the first official appearance of side-boob in the set of flicks!
There;s also an ape in this one. It's not King Kong, though...
Best Line - "I'm glad we're not hunting elephants." "Hey, maybe next time, baby!"
The story is a bit hard to follow, and it looks like this is another transfer made off a VHS tape, but still, it's got those classic things you expect. There's a monster, in this case a White Ape, and it's sacred and probably evil. Of course, it's got some of that classic 1960s Jungle movie racism as well, though it's rather restrained compared to some of the other fils of the era.
The big problem is that you're hoping for things to happen, and they do, but in a start-and-stop way that doesn't allow you to build much concern for any character or particular plot point. It's not exactly dull, but you're never really excited either.
And it's the first official appearance of side-boob in the set of flicks!
Bride of the Gorilla (1951)
Well, Lon Chaney, Jr., the lovely Barbara Payton, Raymond Burr in his Most Manly of Men period, Woody Strode, this flick's got a good cast going for it. It's a fascinating story of lust, betrayal, the jungle, and a guy who is turned into an ape after killing his would-be girlfriend's husband.
It's one of those kind of movies.
I love the story: an evil man in the Jungle is punished by becoming a part of the Jungle, in this case by turning into a monstrous gorilla-man. It's a classic story, largely because Raymond Burr's Barney Chavez holds the jungle and rubber plantation he's working on in such contempt, and all those on it. He has a relationship with a local plantation girl, who he dumps, and he kills his boss, which happens, of course, and he marries Bossman's widow, as one does. It's practically Hamlet, no? Of course, it's a decent story, but it's also not a great film. It's easy to follow, and it never becomes tedious, but there are no end of problems, especially with every actor other than Barbara Payton seems to be taking it very seriously.
Also, there's one of the worst lines in history. "Out there, I can climb as if I have wings."
The film's very watchable, Raymond Burr's over-the-top machismo and Chaney's inspector who feels something like Edward G. Robinson's Insurance inspector in Double Indemnity, only a bit more whacky. It's not a good movie, though there are some real interesting things done. There's a scene where Barbara Payton walks through the jungle, shot from behind with a handheld camera. It's the sort of immediacy I'd expect from a movie 20 years later, and it's a fleeting shot, sadly, but it's really impressive, but it is that rare diamond in a coal mine.
It's one of those kind of movies.
I love the story: an evil man in the Jungle is punished by becoming a part of the Jungle, in this case by turning into a monstrous gorilla-man. It's a classic story, largely because Raymond Burr's Barney Chavez holds the jungle and rubber plantation he's working on in such contempt, and all those on it. He has a relationship with a local plantation girl, who he dumps, and he kills his boss, which happens, of course, and he marries Bossman's widow, as one does. It's practically Hamlet, no? Of course, it's a decent story, but it's also not a great film. It's easy to follow, and it never becomes tedious, but there are no end of problems, especially with every actor other than Barbara Payton seems to be taking it very seriously.
Also, there's one of the worst lines in history. "Out there, I can climb as if I have wings."
The film's very watchable, Raymond Burr's over-the-top machismo and Chaney's inspector who feels something like Edward G. Robinson's Insurance inspector in Double Indemnity, only a bit more whacky. It's not a good movie, though there are some real interesting things done. There's a scene where Barbara Payton walks through the jungle, shot from behind with a handheld camera. It's the sort of immediacy I'd expect from a movie 20 years later, and it's a fleeting shot, sadly, but it's really impressive, but it is that rare diamond in a coal mine.
Attack of the Monsters (1969)
Woohoo, Kaiju!
Now, these re-dubbed Japanese films are always kinda hard to get into as stories. I've always watched them more as one would watch a prize fight. It's about the battle and the story of the battle is less important than the battle itself. In this case, it's Gamera vs. Guiron (the original Japanese title) and the battle's weird, even for a Kaiju film. There are some really nice touches to the build-up, including our less effective officer friend who we encounter with our young heroes while he is practicing with a bokken. Shortly thereafter, two of the kids end up taken up in a flying saucer that apparently only they noticed landed in their town. The two of them go into space and then the fun really starts as we see Gamera flying through space to save the day!
All the signs of 1960s Kaiju films are there. Cheap special effects, monster suits, aliens that might as well be totally human.
There are some great moments, including a mixed-up computer! It was kooky! The actual Kaiju battles are interesting, and the first one is actually a bit gory, though I understand that the original Japanese version featured much more blood. Of course, the aliens drug their young 'friends' in order to eat their brains, but they are saved by Gamera, after their own creature, Guiron, turns on them.
This is no Godzilla, or even Mothra, but it does have some fun moments. I'd love to see the original subtitled, but even in this form, it's kinda watchable, especially the over-the-top silliness that is the climactic battle between Gamera and Guiron!
Now, these re-dubbed Japanese films are always kinda hard to get into as stories. I've always watched them more as one would watch a prize fight. It's about the battle and the story of the battle is less important than the battle itself. In this case, it's Gamera vs. Guiron (the original Japanese title) and the battle's weird, even for a Kaiju film. There are some really nice touches to the build-up, including our less effective officer friend who we encounter with our young heroes while he is practicing with a bokken. Shortly thereafter, two of the kids end up taken up in a flying saucer that apparently only they noticed landed in their town. The two of them go into space and then the fun really starts as we see Gamera flying through space to save the day!
All the signs of 1960s Kaiju films are there. Cheap special effects, monster suits, aliens that might as well be totally human.
There are some great moments, including a mixed-up computer! It was kooky! The actual Kaiju battles are interesting, and the first one is actually a bit gory, though I understand that the original Japanese version featured much more blood. Of course, the aliens drug their young 'friends' in order to eat their brains, but they are saved by Gamera, after their own creature, Guiron, turns on them.
This is no Godzilla, or even Mothra, but it does have some fun moments. I'd love to see the original subtitled, but even in this form, it's kinda watchable, especially the over-the-top silliness that is the climactic battle between Gamera and Guiron!
Gamera The Invincible (1965)
OK, this is the start of the Gamera (or Gammera as the original US release of the film spelled it) and while it's not nearly the best thing on the set, it does make some great improvements over other entries. Now, this one isn't as good as even the American version of Godzilla, but it's formed from the same clay... or maybe I should say foam rubber.
The strange thing is that this film actually says something, much like Godzilla, but it does it in such a way that you kind of have to take a step back. First off, when you start with having to dub a Japanese film and then add footage to make a story, you'e already facing an uphill battle. They added some very smart scenes, including a powerfully important scene of a television interview which does a lot of heavy lifting for the entire film. Of course, it grinds the plot entirely to a halt, but it's smart to go this way because it manages to give us interesting information in a funny debate format. You get these in so many other films. It's basically the same thing as the Woody Woodpecker cartoon in Destination Moon. It's a touch long, but I rather liked them taking that time out.
That's one thing that is almost always true about these films that have American footage added on top of a Foreign film. The scenes that are added are often chatty, and a bit long. That's what happens here. Much of the remaining Japanese footage is actually fairly touching, such as the relationship between young Toshyo and his pet turtle. Of course, the Gamera footage is often laughable, but it's not without its charm. The animations that represent the flying saucers are really cool in an early Fleischer sort of way.
Also, what's not to love about a monster film that cuts away to a rockin' party with a surf-esque tune called 'Gamera'?
The strange thing is that this film actually says something, much like Godzilla, but it does it in such a way that you kind of have to take a step back. First off, when you start with having to dub a Japanese film and then add footage to make a story, you'e already facing an uphill battle. They added some very smart scenes, including a powerfully important scene of a television interview which does a lot of heavy lifting for the entire film. Of course, it grinds the plot entirely to a halt, but it's smart to go this way because it manages to give us interesting information in a funny debate format. You get these in so many other films. It's basically the same thing as the Woody Woodpecker cartoon in Destination Moon. It's a touch long, but I rather liked them taking that time out.
That's one thing that is almost always true about these films that have American footage added on top of a Foreign film. The scenes that are added are often chatty, and a bit long. That's what happens here. Much of the remaining Japanese footage is actually fairly touching, such as the relationship between young Toshyo and his pet turtle. Of course, the Gamera footage is often laughable, but it's not without its charm. The animations that represent the flying saucers are really cool in an early Fleischer sort of way.
Also, what's not to love about a monster film that cuts away to a rockin' party with a surf-esque tune called 'Gamera'?
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
"Hooray for Santa Claus!"
THis is the film I've most dreaded in this set of film. I've seen much of it over the years, and it's awful. I mean really, really, really bad. It's got colour, which is a plus for a film with all of the funky sets and costumes we've got.
I should also note that there's something weird about the sound. It almost sounds like they recorded the sound off a microphone in a room where there's a rainstorm going on outside. It's more than a bit annoying.
The good people of Mars have birthed a generation of kids who are lazy, spend all their time watching Earth programs on the television. The Martian kids love shows about Santa Claus, which leads the Martian leadership to make the obvious conclusion: that their children have forgotten how to have fun and such because of TV. and now they must kidnap Santa Claus! They do just that, along with two Earth kids. You see, a message as relevant today as it was nearly 50 years ago.
I will say this: it's a pretty film. I almost feel bad about watching it on TV, because I'd imagine that it would be so much grander on the big screen.
Of course, the acting is atrocious, the script terrible, and the cinematography is really simple. This at no point goes to the point of charming. Not once. It's full of lame set design, costumes, and dialogue. The worst of it has to be the robot Torg. He's awful, just obvious cardboard and painted on dials and such. It's not that cardboard box robots can't work, I know a few shorts where that's very much the case, but here, it's just obvious laziness.
THis is the film I've most dreaded in this set of film. I've seen much of it over the years, and it's awful. I mean really, really, really bad. It's got colour, which is a plus for a film with all of the funky sets and costumes we've got.
I should also note that there's something weird about the sound. It almost sounds like they recorded the sound off a microphone in a room where there's a rainstorm going on outside. It's more than a bit annoying.
The good people of Mars have birthed a generation of kids who are lazy, spend all their time watching Earth programs on the television. The Martian kids love shows about Santa Claus, which leads the Martian leadership to make the obvious conclusion: that their children have forgotten how to have fun and such because of TV. and now they must kidnap Santa Claus! They do just that, along with two Earth kids. You see, a message as relevant today as it was nearly 50 years ago.
I will say this: it's a pretty film. I almost feel bad about watching it on TV, because I'd imagine that it would be so much grander on the big screen.
Of course, the acting is atrocious, the script terrible, and the cinematography is really simple. This at no point goes to the point of charming. Not once. It's full of lame set design, costumes, and dialogue. The worst of it has to be the robot Torg. He's awful, just obvious cardboard and painted on dials and such. It's not that cardboard box robots can't work, I know a few shorts where that's very much the case, but here, it's just obvious laziness.
Teenagers from Outer Space (1959)
I've never seen this one in any form. Before today, I was much the wiser, apparently. This is a nearly-nonsensical film which shows several things.
1) Outer Space races also use zippers in their suits.
2) If there was no sound, I might have thought the Outer Space folks were the Challengers of the
Unknown
3) This is a film that I would not wish on my worst enemy...
The idea here is that they've come to Earth to turn it into their Planet of the Hearts Delight; basically a farm to feed their growing population. They bring along two teenagers. They then go about the work of getting to know the area and making plans for their invasion.
The only real highlight here is Dawn Bender playing Betty Morgan. She's suitably ingenue-ish, lovely and doe-eyed. She's wonderful in her role, and the way she interacts with Derek, one of the Alien teenagers, is precious. Yes, she's turns a bit into a 'Oh, Derek!' type character as the movie goes on, but she's still very very endearing. She's 100x the actor of any of the others in the film. That's the greatest weakness for this film. The acting is so far below what it needed to be to make up for any of the other short-comings.
Derek wants to help the humans, unlike his co-Aliens, who all see Humans as lesser beings. Betty is great, and it's a shame that she didn't act too much after this one. The Aliens come from a planet where familial relationships are not allowed, which is weird, and they've got these rayguns that turn people into Skeletons! That's kinda funny, really. The monster that we find at the end is also among the lamest this side of Robot Monster.
This is also probably the best transfer of the set so far, considering both image and sound quality.
1) Outer Space races also use zippers in their suits.
2) If there was no sound, I might have thought the Outer Space folks were the Challengers of the
Unknown
3) This is a film that I would not wish on my worst enemy...
The idea here is that they've come to Earth to turn it into their Planet of the Hearts Delight; basically a farm to feed their growing population. They bring along two teenagers. They then go about the work of getting to know the area and making plans for their invasion.
The only real highlight here is Dawn Bender playing Betty Morgan. She's suitably ingenue-ish, lovely and doe-eyed. She's wonderful in her role, and the way she interacts with Derek, one of the Alien teenagers, is precious. Yes, she's turns a bit into a 'Oh, Derek!' type character as the movie goes on, but she's still very very endearing. She's 100x the actor of any of the others in the film. That's the greatest weakness for this film. The acting is so far below what it needed to be to make up for any of the other short-comings.
Derek wants to help the humans, unlike his co-Aliens, who all see Humans as lesser beings. Betty is great, and it's a shame that she didn't act too much after this one. The Aliens come from a planet where familial relationships are not allowed, which is weird, and they've got these rayguns that turn people into Skeletons! That's kinda funny, really. The monster that we find at the end is also among the lamest this side of Robot Monster.
This is also probably the best transfer of the set so far, considering both image and sound quality.
Rocky Jones, Space Ranger - Crash of Moons (1954)
The television programs of the 1950s haven't exactly aged well. Most are missing, in fact, or only fragments exist, and typically the footage ain't great if it does exist. Rocky Jones, Space Ranger DOES still exist in excellent condition, having been shot on film with excellent sets, decent effects and costumes. On the other hand, the general timbre of the acting and the direction of 1950s TV ain't easy to get into.
Rocky Jones isn't vad when you compare it to some of the other 1950s Sci-Fi television offerings, like Tom Corbett: Space Command. Here, Rocky Jones, who would make an excellent Heinlein hero, is great at everything, irresistible to women, and just plain awesome! Here' along with his Space Ranger crew, they're on their way to the Gypsy Moon. The problem is everything is so simple, especially the way it's shot. It's not overly exciting, but it does have some quality and certainly a bit of influence. It's easy to see that Roddenberry would have seen this, and the idea of a female navigator (in Rocky Jones played by the wonderful Sally Mansfield) and the idea of the incredible captain, all power up here in Rocky Jones!
Rocky Jones isn't vad when you compare it to some of the other 1950s Sci-Fi television offerings, like Tom Corbett: Space Command. Here, Rocky Jones, who would make an excellent Heinlein hero, is great at everything, irresistible to women, and just plain awesome! Here' along with his Space Ranger crew, they're on their way to the Gypsy Moon. The problem is everything is so simple, especially the way it's shot. It's not overly exciting, but it does have some quality and certainly a bit of influence. It's easy to see that Roddenberry would have seen this, and the idea of a female navigator (in Rocky Jones played by the wonderful Sally Mansfield) and the idea of the incredible captain, all power up here in Rocky Jones!
Rocky Jones, Space Ranger - Menace from Outer Space (1954)
Another Rocky Jones movie cobbled together from episodes of the show. I understand that in the 1950s, you had to squeeze every last dollar out of every television production. You didn't have a lot of monetary streams yet, and trying to sell television programs re-cut and in theatres must have seemed a great way to pad revenues.
The problem is acting for every medium is different. We're starting to see the collapse of what was once called television acting. Watch Moon of the Wolf and you'll see the perfect example of television acting. It's the half-way point between stage acting (large, demonstrative, full of emppasizing) and film acting (subtler, more internalized, more in conversation with the camera). In the 1950s, television acting was much closer to stage acting than to film acting, and ultimately, that's what dooms a lot of these kinds of pictures. I have to say that the costumes and sets here are very nice.
The transfer here isn't nearly as good as on Crash of Moons, and a few of the strange details are lost.
The problem is acting for every medium is different. We're starting to see the collapse of what was once called television acting. Watch Moon of the Wolf and you'll see the perfect example of television acting. It's the half-way point between stage acting (large, demonstrative, full of emppasizing) and film acting (subtler, more internalized, more in conversation with the camera). In the 1950s, television acting was much closer to stage acting than to film acting, and ultimately, that's what dooms a lot of these kinds of pictures. I have to say that the costumes and sets here are very nice.
The transfer here isn't nearly as good as on Crash of Moons, and a few of the strange details are lost.
Hercules Against The Moon Men (1964)
Eventually, there had to be Hercules. The Italian Herc movies were all universally awful. I mean just retched. Terrible. Wrist-slittingly bad. Blech. I've seen most of them over the years, and this one is actually one of the worst. More terrible dubbing, and while typically Italian movies are well-shot, this one isn't. It's so standard it could have been made by a first year film student. Of course, it's in color, which is a nice touch, but it's so bad. So, so , so bad.
The plot, if I have this right, is basically an evil Alien race has landed and is attacking Samar. Hercules shows up to fight them. Then, he has to fight a giant with a iron head. He wins.
While some of the costumes are nice, a nice side-effect of doing an old-timey setting, and I have to admit, I kinda liked the score. Those are small victories, as far as I'm concerned. It's probably not fair to place the same standards on dubbed films as on those in their original language (or subtitled), but I have a feeling even with those elements, this wouldn't have been any better. Of course, then it wouldn't have been a Hercules movie, as it was originally a Maciste film. If you've never seen any of those (especially the Silent ones), you're missing out.
The print they used for this transfer isn't great, at times there are large numbers of scratches, but it doesn't make the attractive cast any less attractive (both the men and the women! Homana-Homana!)
The plot, if I have this right, is basically an evil Alien race has landed and is attacking Samar. Hercules shows up to fight them. Then, he has to fight a giant with a iron head. He wins.
While some of the costumes are nice, a nice side-effect of doing an old-timey setting, and I have to admit, I kinda liked the score. Those are small victories, as far as I'm concerned. It's probably not fair to place the same standards on dubbed films as on those in their original language (or subtitled), but I have a feeling even with those elements, this wouldn't have been any better. Of course, then it wouldn't have been a Hercules movie, as it was originally a Maciste film. If you've never seen any of those (especially the Silent ones), you're missing out.
The print they used for this transfer isn't great, at times there are large numbers of scratches, but it doesn't make the attractive cast any less attractive (both the men and the women! Homana-Homana!)
Hercules and the Captive Women (1961)
This one's better, but not much. The iconic moment in this one is when Herc lifts up a stone throne and then throws it to the ground, crashing it into pieces. That's a great moment, and it's one of the best moments in all of the Herc films, as far as I'm concerned. There's not a lot of great in these flicks, either.
Here, there's some nice cinematography, especially when they're shooting on a boat.
This is another 'Not Originally Hercules' film, but it works as a Herc film. The idea is pretty simple; Herc saves a beautiful maiden and she takes him to Atlantis, where she's attacked by both monsters and her own family. Ray Park as Hercules has some of the bravado that I expect from Herc on screen, but he's not over-the-top, at least when compared to some. If you've seen the classic SNL bit where Bill Murray plays an aging Herc, I really think it's based on this Hercules.
The source for the transfer wasn't great, as the image quality overall is pretty weak. It's got none of the scratches and such, but the overall image quality isn't good. The sound quality (and this has really decent sound design, actually) isn't bad, though it blares a bit at times. A storm sequence in particular is well done but peaks a little too hard.
Of course, the greatest moments in this one are Herc's battles with various animals, one after another after another. First it's a lion (played by an actual lion until they replace it with a terrible stuffed lion that Herc throws), then a vulture (worse fake bird ever!) and then a lizard man (which is actually on the level of a half-decent Toho monster.
Here, there's some nice cinematography, especially when they're shooting on a boat.
This is another 'Not Originally Hercules' film, but it works as a Herc film. The idea is pretty simple; Herc saves a beautiful maiden and she takes him to Atlantis, where she's attacked by both monsters and her own family. Ray Park as Hercules has some of the bravado that I expect from Herc on screen, but he's not over-the-top, at least when compared to some. If you've seen the classic SNL bit where Bill Murray plays an aging Herc, I really think it's based on this Hercules.
The source for the transfer wasn't great, as the image quality overall is pretty weak. It's got none of the scratches and such, but the overall image quality isn't good. The sound quality (and this has really decent sound design, actually) isn't bad, though it blares a bit at times. A storm sequence in particular is well done but peaks a little too hard.
Of course, the greatest moments in this one are Herc's battles with various animals, one after another after another. First it's a lion (played by an actual lion until they replace it with a terrible stuffed lion that Herc throws), then a vulture (worse fake bird ever!) and then a lizard man (which is actually on the level of a half-decent Toho monster.
Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon (1964)
This has the feeling of, and some of the footage from, a Biblical epic. Basically, the Queen of the Helleness is kidnapped and taken to Babylon, where she hides her real identity by posing as a slave. The Babylonians are all aware of the Giant Who Can Crush Armies, or Hercules as we know him. All of this leads to a rather straight forward plot and a bit of fun here and there.
The real star of this is not Hercules (played by Rock Stevens (aka Peter Lupus) but is instead Taneal, played by Helga Line. She's among the most beautiful actresses who has ever lived, and here, she draws the eye every time she's on screen. She's not only gorgeous, but she is very physical in her acting style, so even though she's over-dubbed, she still gets emotion across. Sadly, compared to any of the other actors in this one, she's gold weighed against bronze. The costumes are a touch simpler for many of the characters, but for Taneal, they are perfect, setting off her natural beauty and form. I really can't say how much the viewer falls in love with her.
Of course, it's not enough to move this film from the Bad to Good column, but still, it makes it slightly more view-worthy. Of course, there are some really dodgy moments. There's a Spartacus moment where all the slaves, while being whipped, all claim to be the Queen of the Hellennes. This would be better if the guys who were whipping the slaves at the time looked like they were putting their arms into it.
The destruction of Babylon is, without doubt, the weakest bit of papier Mache model destruction I've ever seen. And I watch student films...
The real star of this is not Hercules (played by Rock Stevens (aka Peter Lupus) but is instead Taneal, played by Helga Line. She's among the most beautiful actresses who has ever lived, and here, she draws the eye every time she's on screen. She's not only gorgeous, but she is very physical in her acting style, so even though she's over-dubbed, she still gets emotion across. Sadly, compared to any of the other actors in this one, she's gold weighed against bronze. The costumes are a touch simpler for many of the characters, but for Taneal, they are perfect, setting off her natural beauty and form. I really can't say how much the viewer falls in love with her.
Of course, it's not enough to move this film from the Bad to Good column, but still, it makes it slightly more view-worthy. Of course, there are some really dodgy moments. There's a Spartacus moment where all the slaves, while being whipped, all claim to be the Queen of the Hellennes. This would be better if the guys who were whipping the slaves at the time looked like they were putting their arms into it.
The destruction of Babylon is, without doubt, the weakest bit of papier Mache model destruction I've ever seen. And I watch student films...
Hercules Unchained (1959)
Yup, Steve Reeves! This is the one I've been waiting for. Now, it ain't Citizen Kane, but it's so much better, with much stronger production values, than any of the other Herc movies I've watched so far. It's actually a very pretty film, and the dubbing here is even more obvious. The way the scenery is shot, along with the costumes, make for a lot of visual interest. The dubbing on Hercules in particular, is atrocious.
Sylva Koscina is lovely as Herc's new wife, Iole, and they give her an early song, which is very pretty, actually. Herc then loses his memory and goes to the court of Queen Omphale and she convinces him she's his wife. She's amazingly beautiful, a redhead by the name of Sylvia Lopez (who died not long after making Hercules Unchained) who wields a lot of Italian Cinema sex appeal, but she's forced to play against Steve Reeves, which can't have been easy.
What is amazing is how this film and those like Jason and the Argonauts are exactly the same save for one thing - Ray Harryhausen. If you added just a few really strong effects here and there, you'd get those films that have endless charm and wonder to them. As it stands, these films are all bad, but have a certain visual charm. In fact, you could project this film on a wall without the sound and it'd probably be a better experience. I get it, dubbing was cheap, and audiences at the time didn't like subtitles (even less than audiences today!) but still, there was so much more than could have been done!
The cinematography is pretty good, and I'm betting this one, in it's original, un-edited and Un-dubbed form, must be pretty decent. As it stands, this was the easiest of the Hercules movies on these disks to watch... but I'm glad I don't have to watch them again.
Sylva Koscina is lovely as Herc's new wife, Iole, and they give her an early song, which is very pretty, actually. Herc then loses his memory and goes to the court of Queen Omphale and she convinces him she's his wife. She's amazingly beautiful, a redhead by the name of Sylvia Lopez (who died not long after making Hercules Unchained) who wields a lot of Italian Cinema sex appeal, but she's forced to play against Steve Reeves, which can't have been easy.
What is amazing is how this film and those like Jason and the Argonauts are exactly the same save for one thing - Ray Harryhausen. If you added just a few really strong effects here and there, you'd get those films that have endless charm and wonder to them. As it stands, these films are all bad, but have a certain visual charm. In fact, you could project this film on a wall without the sound and it'd probably be a better experience. I get it, dubbing was cheap, and audiences at the time didn't like subtitles (even less than audiences today!) but still, there was so much more than could have been done!
The cinematography is pretty good, and I'm betting this one, in it's original, un-edited and Un-dubbed form, must be pretty decent. As it stands, this was the easiest of the Hercules movies on these disks to watch... but I'm glad I don't have to watch them again.
The Lost Jungle (1934)
I love the old Serials. They were a lot of fun, though a lot of them weren't exactly high-quality productions. The form in which I've seen most of them is the later Feature Film form. A lot of the studios would take full serials, sometimes as many as 20 different episodes, and re-edit them into a single feature film. This allowed them to use the serial as filler for an entire program and then monetize that as the lead or back-end for a double-feature. It was a smart way of going about things, and in the 1930s, serials were probably at their peak. Serials tended to be genre pics, westerns, science fiction, and especially adventure pics. The Lost Jungle is an adventure pic of the best kind... sort of.
The Gunther Gabel Williams of the first half of the 20th Century was a guy named Clyde Beatty. He was a legend, one of the greatest wild animal trainers of all-time. His collection of wild animals was legendary, and he toured the world. He made several featured, almost all of them being his various acts given a loose-ish storyline. In this case, it's his relationship with a young lady who has gone off to the South Seas, and thus he's gotten reckless. He's working all sorts of different man-eating beasts in The Big Cage, all at once. This was a very new thing, though it's since become pretty typical.
What's funny is that the film's just really an excuse to film his various acts in various forms, and it totally works for what it is. Anyone looking for deep meaning or complex characterization will be disappointed, but it's an impressive record of his act. The adventure elements are OK, but it's mostly big cats fighting, which was aways a part of Beatty's act.
The Gunther Gabel Williams of the first half of the 20th Century was a guy named Clyde Beatty. He was a legend, one of the greatest wild animal trainers of all-time. His collection of wild animals was legendary, and he toured the world. He made several featured, almost all of them being his various acts given a loose-ish storyline. In this case, it's his relationship with a young lady who has gone off to the South Seas, and thus he's gotten reckless. He's working all sorts of different man-eating beasts in The Big Cage, all at once. This was a very new thing, though it's since become pretty typical.
What's funny is that the film's just really an excuse to film his various acts in various forms, and it totally works for what it is. Anyone looking for deep meaning or complex characterization will be disappointed, but it's an impressive record of his act. The adventure elements are OK, but it's mostly big cats fighting, which was aways a part of Beatty's act.
Mesa of Lost Women (1953)
It's hard to fathom a film that is, in essence, a flashback nestled inside another flashback. It's also hard to understand how such a film could get even more convoluted by turning a complicated plot in on itself a few times. It's the fact that a movie like Mesa of Lost Women isn't the type of place you go to find complicated screenplay structure, and it's also not the kind of place you go to find clean and clear acting.
And with good reason.
Jackie Coogan was once called a Genius by the great Charlie Chaplin. Of course, he also had his faults (as did Charlie...) and hee he plays Dr. Aranya, and is a little too over-the-top, while also being almost completely one-note. It's weird for an actor to make those two kinds of mistakes in the same performance. Maybe he is a genius afterall...
The story is... well, I'm not 100% sure. There's an evil scientist making people out of animal parts in the Mexican desert, and there's a group who are either supporting him, or studying him, or maybe just going to see him. Then there's a scene in a bar where a young woman is dancing seductively. And then there's a David Lynch-like drinking scene where people meet and have a strange conversation while said lovely young woman dances seductively. Lots of inappropriate smiles and strange phrases. It's almost like it could have been out of Mulholland Drive or Blue Velvet. It's just... weird. That character has some of the most interesting lines. "Birds fly without motors" he says with that creepy smile.
The entire thing is hard to follow, I think that was even the fact for the screenwriter.
The acting is awful all around. Every character is taken to their furthest corner. If a character is supposed to be a survivor-type, he's all the way Gung-Ho survivor-type. The Pilot is Ultimate Pilot Type. Tht pilot, by the way, is flying a plane that is failing, and when they cut to outside shots, it's as bad as any Ed Wood effect.
What's fascinating here is that this is the best example of a B-Film's failings. The budget wasn't great, obviously, the reliance on rather simple effects (like a reverb to make voices sound un-Earthly), and terrible acting by actors who can actually act if they're motivated (usually by a larger paycheck.
The Lost Women are all lovely, and strangely costumed. Eventually, it turns into an early version of Survival Horror. The team that has entered the Mexican Desert is being picked off one by one. It's not unexpected for things to go down this way.
I'll say that the score wasn't bad at all, and I'm not 100% certain if it was bespoke or just borrowed from other films. Hoyt Curtin, who did a lot of Hanna-Barbara's music, is credited with the score, and it's very nice. Another marker of a B-Flick is that it's got at least one element that really works. Here, it's the music.
And with good reason.
Jackie Coogan was once called a Genius by the great Charlie Chaplin. Of course, he also had his faults (as did Charlie...) and hee he plays Dr. Aranya, and is a little too over-the-top, while also being almost completely one-note. It's weird for an actor to make those two kinds of mistakes in the same performance. Maybe he is a genius afterall...
The story is... well, I'm not 100% sure. There's an evil scientist making people out of animal parts in the Mexican desert, and there's a group who are either supporting him, or studying him, or maybe just going to see him. Then there's a scene in a bar where a young woman is dancing seductively. And then there's a David Lynch-like drinking scene where people meet and have a strange conversation while said lovely young woman dances seductively. Lots of inappropriate smiles and strange phrases. It's almost like it could have been out of Mulholland Drive or Blue Velvet. It's just... weird. That character has some of the most interesting lines. "Birds fly without motors" he says with that creepy smile.
The entire thing is hard to follow, I think that was even the fact for the screenwriter.
The acting is awful all around. Every character is taken to their furthest corner. If a character is supposed to be a survivor-type, he's all the way Gung-Ho survivor-type. The Pilot is Ultimate Pilot Type. Tht pilot, by the way, is flying a plane that is failing, and when they cut to outside shots, it's as bad as any Ed Wood effect.
What's fascinating here is that this is the best example of a B-Film's failings. The budget wasn't great, obviously, the reliance on rather simple effects (like a reverb to make voices sound un-Earthly), and terrible acting by actors who can actually act if they're motivated (usually by a larger paycheck.
The Lost Women are all lovely, and strangely costumed. Eventually, it turns into an early version of Survival Horror. The team that has entered the Mexican Desert is being picked off one by one. It's not unexpected for things to go down this way.
I'll say that the score wasn't bad at all, and I'm not 100% certain if it was bespoke or just borrowed from other films. Hoyt Curtin, who did a lot of Hanna-Barbara's music, is credited with the score, and it's very nice. Another marker of a B-Flick is that it's got at least one element that really works. Here, it's the music.
Assignment: Outer Space (1960)
Another Italian film, this one directed by the God of Italian Science Fiction Film Antonio Margheriti, and one that's better dubbed than any of the other Italian films on this set. It's an interesting little film, not one I'd say is particularly good, but it's interesting what they managed to do with what they had.
You'll never confuse this for 2001. The weightlessness movements that everyone does looks fake, but at least they tried instead of making some claim of artificial gravity. There are some terrible models, and the floating through space scenes are really rough. The music they chose for a scene that the astronaut described as 'terrifying' was smooth and sweet. It's an odd choice.
The suits they chose were weak, and the way they used the voice-over to tell so much of the story made sense, but it wasn't great. In fact, at a couple of points it more confuses than clarifies.
If you really want to laugh, watch as two astronauts fly through space in a way that reminded me more of amateur arialism than Hong Kong wirework. Of course, this ain't Hong Kong, and the former is probably most accurate to describe the stunt workers employed for the scene.
While costumes and some of the modelwork don't impress, the way it's shot, and the way it's cleanly edited, show why Margheritti got so much work over the years. It's not a bad-looking film, and while the transfer mutes the color, it still works.
You'll never confuse this for 2001. The weightlessness movements that everyone does looks fake, but at least they tried instead of making some claim of artificial gravity. There are some terrible models, and the floating through space scenes are really rough. The music they chose for a scene that the astronaut described as 'terrifying' was smooth and sweet. It's an odd choice.
The suits they chose were weak, and the way they used the voice-over to tell so much of the story made sense, but it wasn't great. In fact, at a couple of points it more confuses than clarifies.
If you really want to laugh, watch as two astronauts fly through space in a way that reminded me more of amateur arialism than Hong Kong wirework. Of course, this ain't Hong Kong, and the former is probably most accurate to describe the stunt workers employed for the scene.
While costumes and some of the modelwork don't impress, the way it's shot, and the way it's cleanly edited, show why Margheritti got so much work over the years. It's not a bad-looking film, and while the transfer mutes the color, it still works.
Lazer Mission (1990)
Not every science fiction film made after 1980 is an effects masterpiece. In the world of B-Movies, there is room for all decades. So, let's do the checklist. Actors who have a name and are decent in other things but who are not really trying in this picture? Yep. Relatives of OTHER famous actors with the same last name? Indeed. Terrible effects? Yeah. Props that are completely unrealistic? Ah-huh. A terrible script? Done. That's all here in Lazer Mission, easily the worst film on the set so far.
OK, a first in this one is that the word 'Fuck' is uttered. It's about the only memorable thing about this film. It's got Brandon Lee, who I loved in The Crow, but who shows nothing here. It's got Earnest Borgnaine, who is usually great but here is doing a lame accent and saying terrible lines. Debi Monahan is here, which is never a good sign. There's the KGB (which had just ceased to exist when this came out) and something about lasers, and there was a chase, I think. It takes place in Cuba, and maybe Miami. I'm not entirely sure. I was too hurt by the awful cinematography, the terrible sound design, the bad acting, and I really shouldn't review this one as much as say "I watched it and it hurt."
OK, a first in this one is that the word 'Fuck' is uttered. It's about the only memorable thing about this film. It's got Brandon Lee, who I loved in The Crow, but who shows nothing here. It's got Earnest Borgnaine, who is usually great but here is doing a lame accent and saying terrible lines. Debi Monahan is here, which is never a good sign. There's the KGB (which had just ceased to exist when this came out) and something about lasers, and there was a chase, I think. It takes place in Cuba, and maybe Miami. I'm not entirely sure. I was too hurt by the awful cinematography, the terrible sound design, the bad acting, and I really shouldn't review this one as much as say "I watched it and it hurt."
Killers from Space (1954)
Peter Graves. He's one of the best things about a lot of movies. In particular, his voice. In Killers from Space, a Young Mr. Graves plays a test pilot who is over an atomic bomb test in a plane when things go pear-shaped. It turns out that he loses control, blacks out, and ends up back and safe, but with a surgery scar that wasn't there before. He's a scientist too, and he's scientist as well, but after the incident, he's grounded and not allowed in on the latest test. He's bummed and works his way back in and then is given truth serum and reveals that he had been taken by aliens.
Now, the most memorable part of this film has to be the Aliens. They're the worst aliens in the history of film. Wait... no. Contact, when the aliens turn out to be her Dad. THAT was worse. Here, they're regular folks who have giant Muppet-like eyes! It's so very very lame. Even for the 1950s. There must have been a foam-rubber shortage in LA at the time. Everyone sorta look slike Marty Feldman. There's also a moment where Peter Graves KO's an FBI man and it's with two of the worst looking punches in history. I mean, they're just awful. The rear-projection of regular sizze lizards and insects with Peter Graves in front are CLASSIC B-Movie fare!
In reality, other than the Aliens, the rest of the film isn't so much bad as it is unmemorable. It's bad that bad a film, the storyline even makes sense and there's a suitable amount of paranoia to it. Yeah, the effects are weak, but the film itself moves pretty well. THe transfer, while a bit dark, isn't bad either. All in all I'd watch it again... maybe.
Now, the most memorable part of this film has to be the Aliens. They're the worst aliens in the history of film. Wait... no. Contact, when the aliens turn out to be her Dad. THAT was worse. Here, they're regular folks who have giant Muppet-like eyes! It's so very very lame. Even for the 1950s. There must have been a foam-rubber shortage in LA at the time. Everyone sorta look slike Marty Feldman. There's also a moment where Peter Graves KO's an FBI man and it's with two of the worst looking punches in history. I mean, they're just awful. The rear-projection of regular sizze lizards and insects with Peter Graves in front are CLASSIC B-Movie fare!
In reality, other than the Aliens, the rest of the film isn't so much bad as it is unmemorable. It's bad that bad a film, the storyline even makes sense and there's a suitable amount of paranoia to it. Yeah, the effects are weak, but the film itself moves pretty well. THe transfer, while a bit dark, isn't bad either. All in all I'd watch it again... maybe.
Phantom from Space (1953)
I once watched a documentary of a man's day. It ran 16 hours. It was an endless series of talking scenes, shots of him reading. Shots of him waiting for an elevator, getting on the elevator, going up on the elevator. If you think you lead an excited life, do what this guy did and make a movie of your day from rising to sleeping.
And no doubt it'll be less boring than Phantom from Space.
So, basically, there was a flying saucer, and they talk about how the saucer was seen over Alaska at such and such a speed, and then over Seattle at such and such a speed and heading, and then over Morro Bay at such and such a speed. And on and on and on. And then they go to another scene of people talking about a man from Space in a suit and he's got no head because he's invisible.
And about the only thing that moves me at all is the Theramin-laden score. The rest of it was completely nap-worthy.
And no doubt it'll be less boring than Phantom from Space.
So, basically, there was a flying saucer, and they talk about how the saucer was seen over Alaska at such and such a speed, and then over Seattle at such and such a speed and heading, and then over Morro Bay at such and such a speed. And on and on and on. And then they go to another scene of people talking about a man from Space in a suit and he's got no head because he's invisible.
And about the only thing that moves me at all is the Theramin-laden score. The rest of it was completely nap-worthy.
White Pongo (1945)
I was waiting for a weird Monkey movie! This one's about a White Gorilla living among other gorillas in the jungle. The suits for the gorillas are actually pretty decent for the time. Again, you'll never confuse them for the ones in 2001 (or Planet of the Apes), but they're pretty good.
I feel bad that this is called B-Movie, because it does a whole lot of things very right. It keeps the plot moving, it presents an interesting relationship between the spoiled rich girl and the leader of the expedition. The expedition into the jungle to find the white gorilla believe that it's the Missing Link, and everyone on the expedition has an ulterior motive for making the trek. It's actually kinda complex, but not in the way that some films get complex as a function of being unable to determine what the real plot should be. They make some excellent use of the characters and there's little excess. That's a bit plus for it in the face of so many other films I've watched where there's just too much packed in.
The shooting of it is kinda plain, the editing rather simple, and the sound is OK. Technically, other than the costumes, it's nothing spectacular, but it tells a story and the story works and when we get to the end, where we see a fight between the White Gorilla vs. a Regular Gorilla, it's not over-stayed it's welcome in the least. It's a decent film, not a great one, but one of the better films on this set.
I feel bad that this is called B-Movie, because it does a whole lot of things very right. It keeps the plot moving, it presents an interesting relationship between the spoiled rich girl and the leader of the expedition. The expedition into the jungle to find the white gorilla believe that it's the Missing Link, and everyone on the expedition has an ulterior motive for making the trek. It's actually kinda complex, but not in the way that some films get complex as a function of being unable to determine what the real plot should be. They make some excellent use of the characters and there's little excess. That's a bit plus for it in the face of so many other films I've watched where there's just too much packed in.
The shooting of it is kinda plain, the editing rather simple, and the sound is OK. Technically, other than the costumes, it's nothing spectacular, but it tells a story and the story works and when we get to the end, where we see a fight between the White Gorilla vs. a Regular Gorilla, it's not over-stayed it's welcome in the least. It's a decent film, not a great one, but one of the better films on this set.
The Snow Creature (1954)
Again, a decent little film for the time. This one's about a team that goes to the Himalayas to find flora and bring it back to study. An interesting concept, and there's some good footage that looks like it's documentary footage (and some travleogue stuff0 that is pretty decent. This goes on to become a movie about one of the Sherpas for the team trying to get the team to hunt for his wife, who was kidnapped by the Yeti.
After that, it basically becomes a low-rent King Kong as they bring it back to LA with them. There's some funny strange in here. The 'Sherpas' are all speaking Japanese. In the old days of Vaudeville, you could get away with a faux Chinese act by just having the folks speaking make up non-sense because no one would know the difference. Of course, as the number of Chinese in the US increased, and the explosion of Chinese restaurants, this became impossible to maintain (also, there were far better acts on the circuit being done by actual Chinese performers.) So soon after WWII and so many servicemen having returned, you'd think they'd have not tried it.
As a film, I'd say it worked. It's not polished, and the Yeti is kinda odd, but overall, I'd watch it again. I think that these adventure-y films are the best of the lot.
After that, it basically becomes a low-rent King Kong as they bring it back to LA with them. There's some funny strange in here. The 'Sherpas' are all speaking Japanese. In the old days of Vaudeville, you could get away with a faux Chinese act by just having the folks speaking make up non-sense because no one would know the difference. Of course, as the number of Chinese in the US increased, and the explosion of Chinese restaurants, this became impossible to maintain (also, there were far better acts on the circuit being done by actual Chinese performers.) So soon after WWII and so many servicemen having returned, you'd think they'd have not tried it.
As a film, I'd say it worked. It's not polished, and the Yeti is kinda odd, but overall, I'd watch it again. I think that these adventure-y films are the best of the lot.
The Sons of Hercules - In The Land of Darkness
So, this is the concept behind The Sons of Hercules. Embassy Pictures took Italian sword-and-sandal pictures (Maciste, Ursus, and others) and repackaged them as films of The Sons of Hercules for syndicated television viewing. They have all the quality of other Hercules movies (maybe slightly better dubbed), but the real quality here is the theme song. It's like a Music Video for a Novelty Record directed by Kenneth Anger.
You can see for yourself at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5L9pA4fqnw. It's as good as watching the entire movie.
You can see for yourself at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5L9pA4fqnw. It's as good as watching the entire movie.
The Giants of Rome (1964)
Well, this is different. Much like The Magnificent Seven took from The Seven Samurai (or was it the other way 'round?) so did The Giants of Rome take from The Guns of Navarone. I was watching it, going "you know, I've seen this movie before" and I pull up Wikipedia to get the graphic, and there's the reference. I was rather shocked, because I though it! I'm seldom very smart about these things. This is really the story of Drusus, a formerly brave Roman solder who has lost his will to fight. That's not he main story, but it's the one that resonated with me.
And here's the funny, that alone makes this one of the best films I've seen so far.
You see, this movie has a clear goal, and while the dubbing is weak (and I should say it ain't a great transfer either) it does it's job and makes the point without rubbing it in our faces. I was never bored, I was once in a while bothered with the production values, but I was always amused and I never tuned out.
Which is an accomplishment with this set!
And here's the funny, that alone makes this one of the best films I've seen so far.
You see, this movie has a clear goal, and while the dubbing is weak (and I should say it ain't a great transfer either) it does it's job and makes the point without rubbing it in our faces. I was never bored, I was once in a while bothered with the production values, but I was always amused and I never tuned out.
Which is an accomplishment with this set!
First Spaceship on Venus (1960)
OK, this is a Polish/East German flick that's been re-dubbed. One thing that is true about Eastern Bloc science fiction is the use of rather impressive sets and props. The design for the Spaceship that ends up on Venus is awesome. It's a sort of Trident thing that looks a little like Sleeping Beauty's castle. There's an amazingly cute robot that looks like it' half-puppy dog, half-vacuum cleaner. It's also a helluva Chess-playing machine.
Where the film is weak is in dialogue, of course, and some of the stunts and effects are a bit rough, but visually it's quite strong. The original story is based on a Stan Lem novel, apparently. In many ways, this is a pre-Star Trek Star Trek. The Captain is bold and smooth, the crew is multi-ethnic and there's a woman navigator. It's a fascinating coincidence.
The science here is awful, which may be odd as a lot of Soviet/Eastern Bloc SF was highly scientifically validated. I guess Crown International Pictures didn't have the money for a science advisor!
Where the film is weak is in dialogue, of course, and some of the stunts and effects are a bit rough, but visually it's quite strong. The original story is based on a Stan Lem novel, apparently. In many ways, this is a pre-Star Trek Star Trek. The Captain is bold and smooth, the crew is multi-ethnic and there's a woman navigator. It's a fascinating coincidence.
The science here is awful, which may be odd as a lot of Soviet/Eastern Bloc SF was highly scientifically validated. I guess Crown International Pictures didn't have the money for a science advisor!
The Alpha Incident (1978)
After all these Italian, German, and Japanese films, I began to think that every movie on this set was dubbed, and The Alpha Incident sure wasn't shot synch-sound. The lips barely match up, which isn't a rare thing, but here it's really obvious. It's OK though, because all the dialogue is awful, the music is sparse and bad, and worst of all is the way it's shot. It's pretty amateurish. There is a lovingly shot moment with an IBM 360 model 40, but mostly it's just terrible.
The story is a very typical 1970s science fiction premise - an American probe brings back a micro-organism and the government starts to fiddle with it, and then transports it via train. Apparently, the virus excapes the train and infects people, which leads to a lock-down and DRAMA!!!!!
The concept is pretty old, and what the movie becomes is one long battle to stay awake because when things go to sleep is when the virus attacks. Now, this is a lesser version of The Andromeda Strain, which itself weren't great. There are some truly awful moments, but mostly it's just annoying mediocre. The only truly World Class terrible moment is the scene where we see what the virus does, which is apparently turn your brains into cake and push 'em out of your skull. That just sucked.
The story is a very typical 1970s science fiction premise - an American probe brings back a micro-organism and the government starts to fiddle with it, and then transports it via train. Apparently, the virus excapes the train and infects people, which leads to a lock-down and DRAMA!!!!!
The concept is pretty old, and what the movie becomes is one long battle to stay awake because when things go to sleep is when the virus attacks. Now, this is a lesser version of The Andromeda Strain, which itself weren't great. There are some truly awful moments, but mostly it's just annoying mediocre. The only truly World Class terrible moment is the scene where we see what the virus does, which is apparently turn your brains into cake and push 'em out of your skull. That just sucked.
The Astral Factor (1976)
Wow. Just wow. I usually start writing these things while I'm watching, and then finish it up afterwards. You know, to save time, maybe fit three in instead of just two in a day, but man, just... man.
This is a terrible, terrible, terrible movie. Before I started this project, I didn't know what a terrible movie was. No, not at all. Now I know, really KNOW, and this is one of those movies.
The key to this film is the effects. They're awful. Just terrible. I remember the late 1970s, I remember when video effects were all like the ones presented here, only most movies and TV shows understood that even at the time, they were distracting and best used sparingly.
These guys overdid it.
The story is actually kinda cool, once you get past the worse than Star Trek: TOS-level effects. IT's a guy in prison, who has superpowers, and takes revenge on the five women who testified against him. He can Force Strange them, and eventually they set a trap and kill him.
Is it a spoiler if you're helping people from having to actually sit through the damn thing?
There is some serious video effects here. In fact, this might be best thought of as a museum piece for all the capabilities of the Scanimate and their ilk. It's not good for the story, largely because it's actually kinda hard to notice it. It's also poorly acted, which is weird as there's both Elke Somer and Stephanie Powers. There are some weird moments, including one of the cheesiest kills in history where we see a pretty young woman invisible choked in a bathtub. It's... well, I laughed.
This is also the worst transfer on the set. The film they used was scratched and had a lot of fluxuation in it. It's just not good.
This is a terrible, terrible, terrible movie. Before I started this project, I didn't know what a terrible movie was. No, not at all. Now I know, really KNOW, and this is one of those movies.
The key to this film is the effects. They're awful. Just terrible. I remember the late 1970s, I remember when video effects were all like the ones presented here, only most movies and TV shows understood that even at the time, they were distracting and best used sparingly.
These guys overdid it.
The story is actually kinda cool, once you get past the worse than Star Trek: TOS-level effects. IT's a guy in prison, who has superpowers, and takes revenge on the five women who testified against him. He can Force Strange them, and eventually they set a trap and kill him.
Is it a spoiler if you're helping people from having to actually sit through the damn thing?
There is some serious video effects here. In fact, this might be best thought of as a museum piece for all the capabilities of the Scanimate and their ilk. It's not good for the story, largely because it's actually kinda hard to notice it. It's also poorly acted, which is weird as there's both Elke Somer and Stephanie Powers. There are some weird moments, including one of the cheesiest kills in history where we see a pretty young woman invisible choked in a bathtub. It's... well, I laughed.
This is also the worst transfer on the set. The film they used was scratched and had a lot of fluxuation in it. It's just not good.
The Galaxy Invader (1985)
For this one, all you need to do is look at that picture over there. That's the general quality of The Galaxy Invader.
Seriously, a guy in a Gillman costume with a Skeletor mask they painted green. That's it. It's awful.
The acting is even worse than anything else I've seen so far, and while there's a touch of an eye at work with the camera, it's also among the most confusing and broad films I've ever seen. The music, while almost certainly bought pre-packaged, is actually well-applied.
Don Dohler, who made several terrible, terrible films, and his family appear to be the majority of this film. The plot? A spaceship crashes and apparently a shitty-costume was on-board. After that, I've got no idea.
Seriously, a guy in a Gillman costume with a Skeletor mask they painted green. That's it. It's awful.
The acting is even worse than anything else I've seen so far, and while there's a touch of an eye at work with the camera, it's also among the most confusing and broad films I've ever seen. The music, while almost certainly bought pre-packaged, is actually well-applied.
Don Dohler, who made several terrible, terrible films, and his family appear to be the majority of this film. The plot? A spaceship crashes and apparently a shitty-costume was on-board. After that, I've got no idea.
Snowbeast (1977)
This is another Made-For-TV movie, and one I kinda remember watching when I was 3 or 4. I was terrified! I think that my Dad and I watched this together and he was laughing all the way through.
So, Joseph Stefano wrote the script to Psycho, and here's he's written a pretty decent script for a story as old as time itself. Bigfoot (or Sasquatch) has taken up residence near a ski resort and is killing skiers. The owner, played by the brilliant Sylvia Sydney (Beetlejuice), refuses to close the resort because it's the annual Winter Carnival and they can't afford to lose the business. The plot is actually fairly tight, it works and it plays out across the running time really well. There's some decent use of handheld in here too, which was rare in TV movies at the time, and the final POV shot from the monster was really cool.
Well, it hasn't aged particularly well, though. The Sasquatch (or Yeti) outfit is really lame by today's standards. It was likely cutting edge costuming in 1977, but it doesn't work nearly so well today. Some of the dialogue isn't strong, and if you really read the structure, it's Jaws. Not the best version of Jaws, but still Jaws. It works, and I was interested and it was a nice break after the last two Crappenfests.
So, Joseph Stefano wrote the script to Psycho, and here's he's written a pretty decent script for a story as old as time itself. Bigfoot (or Sasquatch) has taken up residence near a ski resort and is killing skiers. The owner, played by the brilliant Sylvia Sydney (Beetlejuice), refuses to close the resort because it's the annual Winter Carnival and they can't afford to lose the business. The plot is actually fairly tight, it works and it plays out across the running time really well. There's some decent use of handheld in here too, which was rare in TV movies at the time, and the final POV shot from the monster was really cool.
Well, it hasn't aged particularly well, though. The Sasquatch (or Yeti) outfit is really lame by today's standards. It was likely cutting edge costuming in 1977, but it doesn't work nearly so well today. Some of the dialogue isn't strong, and if you really read the structure, it's Jaws. Not the best version of Jaws, but still Jaws. It works, and I was interested and it was a nice break after the last two Crappenfests.
Unknown World (1951)
Atomic paranoia is always a good thing. Not the actual thought, but the concept as the starting point for a story, makes me smile. It's a shame we've pretty much moved beyond it because no one needs the bomb anymore, right?
One of the oldest kinds of science fiction story is the World Below. Verne, Poe, and many others played with the idea in their fiction, and even Melies in a couple of his early films. The idea is that if you get deep enough underground, you end up finding wonders greater than anything on the surface. Sometimes, you even find a star providing light and warmth down there! This is far better than the ideas David Icke presents of Lizard people, ain't it?
Basically, this is the story of a team put together to go underground to save them from the obvious Atomic Battle that is on it's way. They find wonders, and the first ten minutes are pretty much a weird newsreel, which is strange.
The print they used had some snippets missing, and thus jumps, and the sound isn't bad, though the image quality is pretty damn good.
One of the oldest kinds of science fiction story is the World Below. Verne, Poe, and many others played with the idea in their fiction, and even Melies in a couple of his early films. The idea is that if you get deep enough underground, you end up finding wonders greater than anything on the surface. Sometimes, you even find a star providing light and warmth down there! This is far better than the ideas David Icke presents of Lizard people, ain't it?
Basically, this is the story of a team put together to go underground to save them from the obvious Atomic Battle that is on it's way. They find wonders, and the first ten minutes are pretty much a weird newsreel, which is strange.
The print they used had some snippets missing, and thus jumps, and the sound isn't bad, though the image quality is pretty damn good.
Bloodtide (1982)
James Earl Jones is a huge talent. He did his share of bad movies in the 1970s and 80s, and while this isn't great, it's got some really good moments. JEJ plays Frye, who spouts Shakespeare and has kidnapped a pair of visitors to the island. Somehow, they've awakened an ancient sea creature that demands virgin sacrifices, or the local inhabitants have been making sacrifices all along. It's kinda confusing on that account. It might be that they didn't dive (the locals said that didn't allow diving) and then new-comers awoke them, but there's this sorta local cult thing. There's a really neat opening segment where we see how they did the sacrificing in ancient days.
Oh, and it's got Jose Ferrer playing a local fisherman-type, and he's always good.
The problem is that everything is decent, but nothing is great, the plot sorta slumbers along, and there's little excitement in the first hour. Jones is great, Ferrer is mostly used as flavoring, and it's slow. Very slow. Even when there's a diving sequence to try and figure out what's really killing the young, it really does nothing.
We don't see too much of the monster, and that's OK. It's nothing impressive.
All in all, it's not a bad film, but it's boring and a bit confusing at times. It's well-acted, and the shooting's only OK, but it's not something I'd say was at all memorable.
Oh, and it's got Jose Ferrer playing a local fisherman-type, and he's always good.
The problem is that everything is decent, but nothing is great, the plot sorta slumbers along, and there's little excitement in the first hour. Jones is great, Ferrer is mostly used as flavoring, and it's slow. Very slow. Even when there's a diving sequence to try and figure out what's really killing the young, it really does nothing.
We don't see too much of the monster, and that's OK. It's nothing impressive.
All in all, it's not a bad film, but it's boring and a bit confusing at times. It's well-acted, and the shooting's only OK, but it's not something I'd say was at all memorable.
The Brain Machine (1977)
Boredom seems to have infiltrated Sci-Fi film in the 1970s. This is another film that I found as boring as watching a documentary about the people who make movies about paint drying. It's talky, the plot is herky-jerky, and the whole thing is full of thriller cliches. The darkened hand that opens the hospital room door. Some of the shooting is weird, too. A very strange two-shot that makes no sense is an excellent example, and the blocking overall is strange.
The story is basically a paranoia factory. A group has volunteered to a mind-power study. Of course, things go all sorts of wrong (and not just in the way that somehow led to the boom mic popping into the frame several times!) and there's mayhem! People die for mysterious reasons and there's government involvement and such, plus the phrase "Eternal surveilance is the price of liberty." is uttered.
There is another IBM 360 model 40, and it's some of the best footage I've seen of the machine in a film. Big Iron like that used to show up quite a bit, but it's usually just the tape drives. Here, we get a lot of the CPU as well.
There's some lame business going on in here, but overall, it all makes sense, it's not too hard to follow, and for every smart plot movement, there's a long discussion about trees that makes little sense. It's weird how they've managed to turn this story into something long and dull and not at all memorable. A fair chunk of the middle part of this movie is just a printer printing answers! That's a sure-fire way to make a boring film1
The story is basically a paranoia factory. A group has volunteered to a mind-power study. Of course, things go all sorts of wrong (and not just in the way that somehow led to the boom mic popping into the frame several times!) and there's mayhem! People die for mysterious reasons and there's government involvement and such, plus the phrase "Eternal surveilance is the price of liberty." is uttered.
There is another IBM 360 model 40, and it's some of the best footage I've seen of the machine in a film. Big Iron like that used to show up quite a bit, but it's usually just the tape drives. Here, we get a lot of the CPU as well.
There's some lame business going on in here, but overall, it all makes sense, it's not too hard to follow, and for every smart plot movement, there's a long discussion about trees that makes little sense. It's weird how they've managed to turn this story into something long and dull and not at all memorable. A fair chunk of the middle part of this movie is just a printer printing answers! That's a sure-fire way to make a boring film1
The Wild Women of Wongo (1958)
This one's rough, but there is an upside...
Coral Castle.
In this film, where Mother Nature and Father Time are discussing an experiment they tried back 10,000 years ago where they made all the women ugly and the men handsome, and another set where the opposite was true. It was a strange experiment, didn't work out altogether, but they made this movie of it.
Now, what's important is that they shot a fair bit of it at Coral Castle in Homestead, Florida. It's a place that a single guy, Edward Leedskalnin, built all on his own. Or so the story goes. Most of the stones used in the construction are huge. I mean HUGE! He said they were moved by him using a perpetual motion device, and he would never let anyone see him working. Well, it's what he said. The complex is now a tourist destination and it's funky. There are crescent moons, throne-like stone seats, and there's also a big ol' castle where the dude actually lived. It's made out of limestone which was formed from ancient coral, and there's a mess of it! I mean tons upon tons upon tons. The place is pretty big, and there's a stone gateway which opens incredibly easily. There is some thought that he either hired many many laborers, and kept people out because the laborers he used weren't legal. That gate was a mystery until it stopped working and they took it apart and realised it was on a single shaft with a truck wheel bearing.
And that previous paragraph, with the exception of a Modernist sensual dance sequence, is far more interesting than the movie.
Coral Castle.
In this film, where Mother Nature and Father Time are discussing an experiment they tried back 10,000 years ago where they made all the women ugly and the men handsome, and another set where the opposite was true. It was a strange experiment, didn't work out altogether, but they made this movie of it.
Now, what's important is that they shot a fair bit of it at Coral Castle in Homestead, Florida. It's a place that a single guy, Edward Leedskalnin, built all on his own. Or so the story goes. Most of the stones used in the construction are huge. I mean HUGE! He said they were moved by him using a perpetual motion device, and he would never let anyone see him working. Well, it's what he said. The complex is now a tourist destination and it's funky. There are crescent moons, throne-like stone seats, and there's also a big ol' castle where the dude actually lived. It's made out of limestone which was formed from ancient coral, and there's a mess of it! I mean tons upon tons upon tons. The place is pretty big, and there's a stone gateway which opens incredibly easily. There is some thought that he either hired many many laborers, and kept people out because the laborers he used weren't legal. That gate was a mystery until it stopped working and they took it apart and realised it was on a single shaft with a truck wheel bearing.
And that previous paragraph, with the exception of a Modernist sensual dance sequence, is far more interesting than the movie.
Prehistoric Women (1950)
The transfer here is really dark for some reason. It's a shame.
It is also a shame that the narration is as bad as it is. It reminds me of the second season of Arrested Development where Ron Howard is complaining about the quality of narration on Scandalmakers. When the images get brighter and are better seen, it's obvious that this is a film shot by someone who knows at least a little bit about what they're doing. I was looking at it and thinking about how this thing was shot. It wasn't flashy, but it was solid, with few of the failings a lot of these movies have had.
In a way, this is a strange film. It's told almost entirely through narration, which is something that we're over when it comes to Prehistoric People films. A tribe from the before times splits after one of the woman throws a rock at one of the men. The women leave the tribe and form their own tribe without any men. Gwadi, a nine foot monsterman, attacks and kills their first leader. After that, it's how does a tribe deal with the need for men and all the sort of things you expect in a Prehistory film.
I will say this, it wasn't that bad, there was a lot to look at and the storytelling, while not sophisticated, was clear and simple. I wasn't as annoyed or bored as I was with The Woman of Wongo, but it's still not Kane. It's a bit of a jiggle picture, but it's fine for distracted viewing. There's a couple of girlfights, one with the other women of the tribe looking on in various degrees of excitement. It goes on forever, and you'd never confused it for a Minami Toyota-Aja Kong brawl. The movie ends with another far-out Modernist Dance number, proving once and for all that Prehistoric Women just gotta dance, Dance, DANCE!
It is also a shame that the narration is as bad as it is. It reminds me of the second season of Arrested Development where Ron Howard is complaining about the quality of narration on Scandalmakers. When the images get brighter and are better seen, it's obvious that this is a film shot by someone who knows at least a little bit about what they're doing. I was looking at it and thinking about how this thing was shot. It wasn't flashy, but it was solid, with few of the failings a lot of these movies have had.
In a way, this is a strange film. It's told almost entirely through narration, which is something that we're over when it comes to Prehistoric People films. A tribe from the before times splits after one of the woman throws a rock at one of the men. The women leave the tribe and form their own tribe without any men. Gwadi, a nine foot monsterman, attacks and kills their first leader. After that, it's how does a tribe deal with the need for men and all the sort of things you expect in a Prehistory film.
I will say this, it wasn't that bad, there was a lot to look at and the storytelling, while not sophisticated, was clear and simple. I wasn't as annoyed or bored as I was with The Woman of Wongo, but it's still not Kane. It's a bit of a jiggle picture, but it's fine for distracted viewing. There's a couple of girlfights, one with the other women of the tribe looking on in various degrees of excitement. It goes on forever, and you'd never confused it for a Minami Toyota-Aja Kong brawl. The movie ends with another far-out Modernist Dance number, proving once and for all that Prehistoric Women just gotta dance, Dance, DANCE!
The Came From Beyond Space (1967)
I've seen this movie several times, though I don't know if I've ever watched it. It's apparently based on a book called The Gods Hate Kansas. Things start off pretty swell, there's a big ol' 'plosion! Then we go to a very talky, and section with scientists. I'm not sure if this is where I usually love interest and just kinda tune out, but I stuck with it this time.
Now, I understand that they re-used a lot of the props and sets from Dalek Invasion - Earth 2150 a.d., which is the second Dr. Who film, starring the great Peter Cushing! There is a certain amount of that cool, late 60s English fun to this one. Watching it, while it's not the best-written film I've ever watched, It's got a lot of little things that I really appreciate. The hero and villains being very much the same group of people. The intense number of questions asked of the characters as a way of moving forward the plot is annoying, but the horn blares and the awesome cars are a nice touch.
It's not nearly the painful mess that a lot of the films have been, it was made with a certain amount of care. The shooting is rather stylish, and while I had a touch of a problem following the story, I found myself interested this time. I actually think that this is the kind of film that pretty well shows what British film was doing in the late 60s, far better than the James Bond films. Those are better films (for the most part), but this is more home-grown, simpler, and tells a story that might not be Shakespeare, but really gives an idea of the times.
Now, I understand that they re-used a lot of the props and sets from Dalek Invasion - Earth 2150 a.d., which is the second Dr. Who film, starring the great Peter Cushing! There is a certain amount of that cool, late 60s English fun to this one. Watching it, while it's not the best-written film I've ever watched, It's got a lot of little things that I really appreciate. The hero and villains being very much the same group of people. The intense number of questions asked of the characters as a way of moving forward the plot is annoying, but the horn blares and the awesome cars are a nice touch.
It's not nearly the painful mess that a lot of the films have been, it was made with a certain amount of care. The shooting is rather stylish, and while I had a touch of a problem following the story, I found myself interested this time. I actually think that this is the kind of film that pretty well shows what British film was doing in the late 60s, far better than the James Bond films. Those are better films (for the most part), but this is more home-grown, simpler, and tells a story that might not be Shakespeare, but really gives an idea of the times.
Warning for Space (1956)
Hmmmmm... another dubbed Japanese film. Sadness, as I was just getting used to having synch sound.
This one's in color, I understand that it was one of the earliest color science fiction films shot in Japan, which is interesting. It looks pretty good, too!
The really important thing here, as the film's kinda lame and full of exactly what you'd expect from a science fiction film of the 1950s, are the aliens. They're starfish-like, designed by a modernist artist, and they're really important to the future of Science Fiction. Kubrick was moved to make 2001 partly out of his love for Kaiju and Japanese SF films, but even more is the fact that these aliens led us to having the greatest DC villain of all-time: Starro the Conqueror!
This one's in color, I understand that it was one of the earliest color science fiction films shot in Japan, which is interesting. It looks pretty good, too!
The really important thing here, as the film's kinda lame and full of exactly what you'd expect from a science fiction film of the 1950s, are the aliens. They're starfish-like, designed by a modernist artist, and they're really important to the future of Science Fiction. Kubrick was moved to make 2001 partly out of his love for Kaiju and Japanese SF films, but even more is the fact that these aliens led us to having the greatest DC villain of all-time: Starro the Conqueror!
The Phantom Planet (1961)
Black and White and beautiful. THat's the best thing about The Phantom Planet. It may just be that the source for the transfer was better, but this one's gorgeous! The subjects that they're shooting aren't exactly Gina Lolabrigida. The costumes are fairly shoddy, the models were almost certainly off-the-shelf toys, the blocking is actually flat-out bad, and the sets like the rocket ship interior are only OK, but they way they were lit, the way they were shot were amazing. The lighting reminds me a bit of the classic The Day The Earth Stood Still, at times exceptionally moody. I'm pretty sure that this one had a better budget than most of the films in the set.
There's a storyline here. I'm not sure what it is. Apparently, there's a planet discovered, and there's a ship sent there, and it get hit by asteroids, and then they're put on trial for going to some planet, and they're shrunk down to 6 inches tall, and there's Francis X. Bushmen in a supporting role! It's not the best of storylines, or scripts, but man, is it pretty!
Of course, there's an interesting bit about how people on the planet that shrinks them down to six inches tall about how they got too much technology and that led to the populace becoming lazy and shiftless, but it passes quickly. I don't know what I would have done if it'd kept up.
Probably just keep going, "Wow, this is pretty!"
There's a storyline here. I'm not sure what it is. Apparently, there's a planet discovered, and there's a ship sent there, and it get hit by asteroids, and then they're put on trial for going to some planet, and they're shrunk down to 6 inches tall, and there's Francis X. Bushmen in a supporting role! It's not the best of storylines, or scripts, but man, is it pretty!
Of course, there's an interesting bit about how people on the planet that shrinks them down to six inches tall about how they got too much technology and that led to the populace becoming lazy and shiftless, but it passes quickly. I don't know what I would have done if it'd kept up.
Probably just keep going, "Wow, this is pretty!"
Planet Outlaws (1939/1950)
This is a re-edited version of a Buster Crabbe Buck Rogers serial from 1939. It's not a good edit either. Having seen the original Serial, it's not one of the best, they were all sorta follow-ons to Flash Gordon, but the edits that were done to make a single feature film and later a television edit, were both destructive to the plot and the feeling of the movie.
And, of course, the transfer source isn't very good either.
The sets are great, the costumes excellent, the shooting, well it's not what you would hope for, but the effects are pretty good, but it lacks the first of the serial in the serial form, and it moves too slow at points, then speeds up and blasts past stuff that could have helped it along.
And, of course, the transfer source isn't very good either.
The sets are great, the costumes excellent, the shooting, well it's not what you would hope for, but the effects are pretty good, but it lacks the first of the serial in the serial form, and it moves too slow at points, then speeds up and blasts past stuff that could have helped it along.
Colossus and the Amazon Queen (1960)
I am stunned that we've got Ed Fury, a bodybuilder from the 1950s, who was also in The Wild Women of Wongo.
This feels like a comedy in the mode of What's Up Tiger Lily, except that it was a comedy from the start. The dubbing's actually pretty good, as are the costumes, and the shooting's at least competent. There are gags all around, the one that gets me was when our two heroes are kidnapped by the Amazon women and Glauco (Fury) and Pirro (Rod Taylor) are in a prison. Glauco bends the bars to escape until Pirro reminds him that they've been taken by women, and Glauco bends the bars back into shape. It was a good gag!
Now, as for the rest of the film, it wasn't great. Things moved so fast, and the story did take a backseat to a lot of the gaggery. There's an odd three man dance routine done by guys in very little clothing, followed by a group of the Amazons dancing wearing much more clothing. The women do a dance that is rather 1950s floor show, while the guys seem to do a more Modernist approach: equal parts Martha Graham and plain uncoordinated. It's a weird, but kinda fun, segment.
The appearance of Daniella Rocca as Melita is my personal favorite. She's lovely, and they dress her in one exceptional outfit. There are several lovely actresses who I recognise from Fellini and Antonioni films. Dorian Gray's in it too! She's a fave!
Maybe that's the best way to look at this film. It's not terrible, it's more weird and there a good deal of fun to it. Comedy is hard to dub unless you're starting with drama, and here some of the jokes fail. The musi is upbeat and zany at times, so there's at least that!
This feels like a comedy in the mode of What's Up Tiger Lily, except that it was a comedy from the start. The dubbing's actually pretty good, as are the costumes, and the shooting's at least competent. There are gags all around, the one that gets me was when our two heroes are kidnapped by the Amazon women and Glauco (Fury) and Pirro (Rod Taylor) are in a prison. Glauco bends the bars to escape until Pirro reminds him that they've been taken by women, and Glauco bends the bars back into shape. It was a good gag!
Now, as for the rest of the film, it wasn't great. Things moved so fast, and the story did take a backseat to a lot of the gaggery. There's an odd three man dance routine done by guys in very little clothing, followed by a group of the Amazons dancing wearing much more clothing. The women do a dance that is rather 1950s floor show, while the guys seem to do a more Modernist approach: equal parts Martha Graham and plain uncoordinated. It's a weird, but kinda fun, segment.
The appearance of Daniella Rocca as Melita is my personal favorite. She's lovely, and they dress her in one exceptional outfit. There are several lovely actresses who I recognise from Fellini and Antonioni films. Dorian Gray's in it too! She's a fave!
Maybe that's the best way to look at this film. It's not terrible, it's more weird and there a good deal of fun to it. Comedy is hard to dub unless you're starting with drama, and here some of the jokes fail. The musi is upbeat and zany at times, so there's at least that!
EEGAH (1962)
I've met Richard Kiel twice. He was a helluva nice guy. We chatted for several minutes about his role in James Bond, about writing films, about his work in B-Movies, about his favorite wrestlers of the 1960s (a couple of promoters tried to get him to become a wrestler, but alas, it never happened) and here, in Eegah, his first title role, he is the only thing worth watching.
The transfer here is pretty good, and the color cinematography ain't bad neither, but the script's weak and the acting stiff. Very stiff. Stan Hansen on a bad day in Yokohama stiff. Sorry, only one person reading this will get that gag, and to you I say, you're welcome. It's not at all well acted, though if you wanted a primer on how to make a movie on almost nothing, well, you should study the production notes on Eegah. For 15,000 bucks, they made a movie with a fair bit of visual interest. There's a chopper scene, a Nine Foot Tall Caveman, some decent shooting, and little more. But it tells a story, it doesn't fall apart too often, and it got released! That's better than most million dollar movies nowadays. The fact is, with it being so much harder to make a movie in the 1960s, that a movie even of Eegah's quality could get made and released is something of a miracle, and it may not be very good, but at least it's watchable in the sense that you can actually watch it.
The transfer here is pretty good, and the color cinematography ain't bad neither, but the script's weak and the acting stiff. Very stiff. Stan Hansen on a bad day in Yokohama stiff. Sorry, only one person reading this will get that gag, and to you I say, you're welcome. It's not at all well acted, though if you wanted a primer on how to make a movie on almost nothing, well, you should study the production notes on Eegah. For 15,000 bucks, they made a movie with a fair bit of visual interest. There's a chopper scene, a Nine Foot Tall Caveman, some decent shooting, and little more. But it tells a story, it doesn't fall apart too often, and it got released! That's better than most million dollar movies nowadays. The fact is, with it being so much harder to make a movie in the 1960s, that a movie even of Eegah's quality could get made and released is something of a miracle, and it may not be very good, but at least it's watchable in the sense that you can actually watch it.
War of the Planets (1965)
I'm torn. There's a certain amount of awful in here as far as I can tell, but there's also a touch of Expressionist set design and a few very nice pieces of costuming. I think this is the peak of Italian Science Fiction on a Shoestring budget. They've mostly stopped going for a realism, and yet there's an undeniable attraction and realism that they create. In fact, the weightlessness in the way they portray it during a spacewalk is really good, far better than any of the other attempts in this film.
The costumes have a certain Flash Gordon feel to them, simple, high-contrast blue and red, with cowl-like headpieces. They came to their senses with this one and turned into the spin-out by purposely going cheaper with their designs. Comparing this to Assignment: Outer Space, you can see that here, they gave up a little bit, which makes a lot of sense, but they also made a movie that is better for the audience, easier to accept the problems because they set it up as a film which will not be giving you reality, or Hard Science Fiction, but one that will give you a sense of science fiction, and for that, I was grateful.
Th colors on some of the reels seems to have faded a bit (between scenes, there is significant difference in saturation), but there are also some artifacts from the film. The sound is actually really good. I'm not saying we should put the resources into restoring these films, but it might be a nice touch!
The costumes have a certain Flash Gordon feel to them, simple, high-contrast blue and red, with cowl-like headpieces. They came to their senses with this one and turned into the spin-out by purposely going cheaper with their designs. Comparing this to Assignment: Outer Space, you can see that here, they gave up a little bit, which makes a lot of sense, but they also made a movie that is better for the audience, easier to accept the problems because they set it up as a film which will not be giving you reality, or Hard Science Fiction, but one that will give you a sense of science fiction, and for that, I was grateful.
Th colors on some of the reels seems to have faded a bit (between scenes, there is significant difference in saturation), but there are also some artifacts from the film. The sound is actually really good. I'm not saying we should put the resources into restoring these films, but it might be a nice touch!
Destroy All Planets (1968)
The final film of this set of 50 is a Gamera film. You know, Gamera loves children. There's a potential for a really sick freak to make a movie where Gamera is a pedophile and Barugon is the only one who knows and can't get anyone to believe him. It would be dark, no?
This is just as bad as the other Gamera films that were dubbed, but it's still pretty. The idea is simple: a group of aliens have decided to turn Gamera to their form by using kids as a way of drawing him in and then they start to mind-control Gamera. It's tough out there for a giant monster.
Which reminds me, you should watch Frank Wu's classic Guidolon: The Giant Space Chicken at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MteAVvr_wrU. Yes, that is my voice as the title character, yes. It's a wonderful dissection of what monster movies actually mean, about how movie studies work, about how you can delude yourself into believing you're a star and how you can fail at just about anything, even when you know exactly what you're doing. There's always someone who knows less than you, and they're always the one with the 'ideas'.
That may be reading a bit too much into it all, but it certainly gave me more to think about that this lame Gamera movie did.
This is just as bad as the other Gamera films that were dubbed, but it's still pretty. The idea is simple: a group of aliens have decided to turn Gamera to their form by using kids as a way of drawing him in and then they start to mind-control Gamera. It's tough out there for a giant monster.
Which reminds me, you should watch Frank Wu's classic Guidolon: The Giant Space Chicken at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MteAVvr_wrU. Yes, that is my voice as the title character, yes. It's a wonderful dissection of what monster movies actually mean, about how movie studies work, about how you can delude yourself into believing you're a star and how you can fail at just about anything, even when you know exactly what you're doing. There's always someone who knows less than you, and they're always the one with the 'ideas'.
That may be reading a bit too much into it all, but it certainly gave me more to think about that this lame Gamera movie did.