The second fifty films in the 100 Sci-Fi Classics. This set's called Sci-Fi Invasion, and has more recent films (half of them from the 1970s and 80s) and features less from the 1950s. The spread of kinds of films is much different and there are fewer that were featured on MST3K!
Brain Twisters (1991)
So, this is the way to start! The first scenes are pretty OK, a pretty young woman jogging through the forest, a car crash, a Walkman flying into the air, all the signs of it being a great film, no? It turns out that there's the world's creepiest professor who is doing brain research and he also actually TEACHES his own classes instead of using a TA. That is the ultimate in unbelievability. The class also seems to feature a young lady who dresses like a Flygirl. It's weird.
The story is very typical: there are murders, there's an investigation, more and more creepy things happen along the way. It's very typical, a little boring, and with the exception of a few moments, there's nothing shocking. My big problem - not enough music to distract me from the sparse (and rather lame) dialogue. The graphics they use also seem to be from an Amiga Video Toaster (though I'm not 100% on that one) and while that makes me interested, I can see that folks used to sophisticated graphics may well be annoyed.
The story is very typical: there are murders, there's an investigation, more and more creepy things happen along the way. It's very typical, a little boring, and with the exception of a few moments, there's nothing shocking. My big problem - not enough music to distract me from the sparse (and rather lame) dialogue. The graphics they use also seem to be from an Amiga Video Toaster (though I'm not 100% on that one) and while that makes me interested, I can see that folks used to sophisticated graphics may well be annoyed.
The Head (1959)
A German film, which I think is based on a Russian science fiction film. My friend Natasha did a short film that was based around the same concept: of a scientist who creates a technique for keeping dead flesh alive. It's a basic idea, and here, even with the dubbing, the film is told clearly, and in a way that is shot with a fair bit of that wonderful German Cinematography. There are gorgeous shots of heavy shadow and high contrast. The lighting is expressive, but also at times soft. It has a palette that it plays with, and the look makes it worthwhile.
I will admit, the showgirl angle is something that took me a while to fully integrate into my thinking. She had been saved by the doctor and he now has his hooks in her. It's n odd bit of the story, and when it's over, I found myself wishing we'd got more of that storyline than any other.
I will admit, the showgirl angle is something that took me a while to fully integrate into my thinking. She had been saved by the doctor and he now has his hooks in her. It's n odd bit of the story, and when it's over, I found myself wishing we'd got more of that storyline than any other.
The Day Time Ended (1980)
Not since David Lynch's Dune has a movie had a more confusing and needless opening monologue. No, that's not true. Dune's opening (spoken by Virginia Madsen) is actually awesome. Jim Davis narrates this one and is more confusing than enlightening at first, these things happen.
Instead, I shall direct you to that poster, right over there <-. It is, in every way, telling a better story than The Day Time Ended. Look at it! It's gorgeous! The Day Time Ended is shot like a bad episode of The Streets of San Francisco. It's very flat, and rather television-like. But look at that poster! It's got beautifully-conceived spaceships attacking! A ziggurat-like structure, and beams chasing a running family. The style is somewhere between an EC Comics cover and the jacket of a Jefferson Airplane album. There's a monster, a freakin' giant green, amphibious monster! And look at that font! Bold, transitioning colors, silver outlines that positively cut through the black of night at the top of the sheet! It's an absolute masterpiece of a poster.
Too bad it's for such a lame film. About the only things of any quality is the stop motion animation of an alien friend and the various spaceships are kinda cool too.
But nothing compared to that poster!
Instead, I shall direct you to that poster, right over there <-. It is, in every way, telling a better story than The Day Time Ended. Look at it! It's gorgeous! The Day Time Ended is shot like a bad episode of The Streets of San Francisco. It's very flat, and rather television-like. But look at that poster! It's got beautifully-conceived spaceships attacking! A ziggurat-like structure, and beams chasing a running family. The style is somewhere between an EC Comics cover and the jacket of a Jefferson Airplane album. There's a monster, a freakin' giant green, amphibious monster! And look at that font! Bold, transitioning colors, silver outlines that positively cut through the black of night at the top of the sheet! It's an absolute masterpiece of a poster.
Too bad it's for such a lame film. About the only things of any quality is the stop motion animation of an alien friend and the various spaceships are kinda cool too.
But nothing compared to that poster!
Eyes Behind the Stars (1978)
Martin Balsam! He's a legend. A really big legend to folks who like their films all awesome and whatnot. In this Italian work, he plays Inspector Jim Grant. It/s the kind of role an actor only takes when there's a boat payment coming up
The film opens with an excellent scene of a photographer who looks a little like a bug-eyed version of John Lithgowe, is doing a lovely shoot with a model in a forest when all the mechanical stuff stops working. Believe it or not, this is a traditional report from things like Flying Saucer sightings (and secret government aircraft sightings as well) so I knew where this was going. The movie is basically a cop story, and it's about conspiracy theories and psychic phenomena and aliens and weirdness. It's a weird film, slightly confusing, and it spirals out of control. If they'd stuck with the Flying Saucers storyline, it would have been decent, but what we've got is really weird.
The best part of this film is a character who is a Ufologist, who advises the Investigators. He's basically The Smoking Man from X-Files. In fact, he's smoking when we first meet him. He also looks like Christopher Lee. In all, he provides us the background for the story, but alas, he also helps to clarify a story that is slowly dropped in favor of more complicated matters!
Also, I fell asleep twice while watching. It wasn't too exciting.
The film opens with an excellent scene of a photographer who looks a little like a bug-eyed version of John Lithgowe, is doing a lovely shoot with a model in a forest when all the mechanical stuff stops working. Believe it or not, this is a traditional report from things like Flying Saucer sightings (and secret government aircraft sightings as well) so I knew where this was going. The movie is basically a cop story, and it's about conspiracy theories and psychic phenomena and aliens and weirdness. It's a weird film, slightly confusing, and it spirals out of control. If they'd stuck with the Flying Saucers storyline, it would have been decent, but what we've got is really weird.
The best part of this film is a character who is a Ufologist, who advises the Investigators. He's basically The Smoking Man from X-Files. In fact, he's smoking when we first meet him. He also looks like Christopher Lee. In all, he provides us the background for the story, but alas, he also helps to clarify a story that is slowly dropped in favor of more complicated matters!
Also, I fell asleep twice while watching. It wasn't too exciting.
Hands of Steel (1986)
John Saxon plays a wealthy guy who builds a Cyborg. This ain't no Robocop.
There is one really cool moment. An old guy in a wheelchair is holding a remote of some sort and presses it, making his IBM Selectric typewriter type something. That was cool! OK, and there was a street sign that read "Acid Rain Ahead" and that was cool, too. But that's it!
While the film is a bit dull, it does try to tell a story, even if it fails at times. Saxon's performance is solid, it always is, but here he's given a little bit to do and he does it and everything around him is crap. John Saxon was MADE to play a wealthy and evil industrialist. He's so good at it! Even his work in Enter The Dragon hints at it. This is far from his worst movie, that would be Mitchell, but he he may be far more wasted than any other.
This is also the first of the films to have actual toplessness! There's a strip club scene, but it's not much to drive the plot forward.
There is a decent bar fight, especially with the awful music they used, but ultimately, I fell asleep again.
There is one really cool moment. An old guy in a wheelchair is holding a remote of some sort and presses it, making his IBM Selectric typewriter type something. That was cool! OK, and there was a street sign that read "Acid Rain Ahead" and that was cool, too. But that's it!
While the film is a bit dull, it does try to tell a story, even if it fails at times. Saxon's performance is solid, it always is, but here he's given a little bit to do and he does it and everything around him is crap. John Saxon was MADE to play a wealthy and evil industrialist. He's so good at it! Even his work in Enter The Dragon hints at it. This is far from his worst movie, that would be Mitchell, but he he may be far more wasted than any other.
This is also the first of the films to have actual toplessness! There's a strip club scene, but it's not much to drive the plot forward.
There is a decent bar fight, especially with the awful music they used, but ultimately, I fell asleep again.
The War of the Robots (1978)
Ah, a tale of the future! A classv tale at that! The costumes are actually fairly well done! If you were looking for a sort of realistic future fashion sense, I'd say that War of the Robots is pretty damn close... at least until they get out to exploring wearing weirdly rubber0zed outfits. There was also a guy who basically wore a costume from 300...
So, there's a scientist and a bunch of blondes with bowl cuts. I'm not sure of much beyond that. I did fall asleep again.
The funny thing about this movie is that they tried a lot of stuff. There was a attempt at handheld shooting to amp-up the feeling of confinement, which ended up failing because they shot too too close and framed everything poorly. There was a lot of bad plotting, and even when they had fittingly tense music, they gave it to us in a poor way. It's a shame, as the idea of Earth-folk going out hunting Intergalactic Kidnappers (if that's the plot, I'm still not sure) is a good one.
So, there's a scientist and a bunch of blondes with bowl cuts. I'm not sure of much beyond that. I did fall asleep again.
The funny thing about this movie is that they tried a lot of stuff. There was a attempt at handheld shooting to amp-up the feeling of confinement, which ended up failing because they shot too too close and framed everything poorly. There was a lot of bad plotting, and even when they had fittingly tense music, they gave it to us in a poor way. It's a shame, as the idea of Earth-folk going out hunting Intergalactic Kidnappers (if that's the plot, I'm still not sure) is a good one.
984: Prisoner of the Future (1982)
Wow, this one is so important to see right now. It's a movie where a group of business men fight against the government, which cracks down on them, including at least one person who was certainly innocent. Or were they...?
It's not a good movie, and it's so think a story, more or less reliant on the twist at the end, which is lame as they come. There are roller skating robots, which are kinda fun, and if it had been them rolling around and singing... well then, it would have been Starlight Express, but as it stands, they can't save a boring Sci-Fi film!
It's not a good movie, and it's so think a story, more or less reliant on the twist at the end, which is lame as they come. There are roller skating robots, which are kinda fun, and if it had been them rolling around and singing... well then, it would have been Starlight Express, but as it stands, they can't save a boring Sci-Fi film!
Top Line (1988)
Franco Nero. Django. The man. A man who has been in some amazing movies. He's also been in some incredibly bad movies. In fact, he might compete with Michael Caine as the King of the Dogs. Here, he wears a white suit at one point! That's enough!
On the other hand, it's not a good film at all. It's full of weak ideas and weaker execution. There's nudity early on, and frankly who could blame a woman for wanting to be naked with Franco Nero? There's a scene where George Kennedy tries to run over Franco Nero with his GIANT car. And then he chases him and tries to kill him with his machine gun. This movie proves an incredibly important thing - that there is a film that both Franco Nero and George Kennedy appear in! Universe is now complete!
On the other hand, it's not a good film at all. It's full of weak ideas and weaker execution. There's nudity early on, and frankly who could blame a woman for wanting to be naked with Franco Nero? There's a scene where George Kennedy tries to run over Franco Nero with his GIANT car. And then he chases him and tries to kill him with his machine gun. This movie proves an incredibly important thing - that there is a film that both Franco Nero and George Kennedy appear in! Universe is now complete!
Night Fright (1968)
There is some awesome hair in this talky, meandering film shot in Texas. That Texas part, along with it being 1968, might account for the hair. I have to say that I wasn't bored, but about the 15 minutes was just couples having a good time until we see a young lady scream when she comes across a body.
This also leads to one of the worst fonts ever used for a Horror film title. It's a little like a font I used to use called Earthquake, with lines on the sides indicating shaking, but it's way too comical for this application. Remember that, filmmakers: your title font choice helps determine the overall effect of your film!
The film's about a flying saucer crash in Texas which has released an alien. A pair of cops go to investigate a murder in a place called... wait for it... Satan's Hollow. Now if your town has a location called Satan's Hollow, you need to have a 24 hour watch on it. Seriously, every creep and motherfucker in town is going to be attracted to it and you'll find a body there every week, at least.
There's a lot of rock 'n roll dancing in the middle, but not a lot of horror or science fiction. In fact, which I enjoyed a fair portion of it, I was never really thrilled.
When we finally see the monster, supposedly a mutated Alligator, it's scary exactly how weak the costume is. In fact, some of the costumes wore by the teenagers are more frightening!
This also leads to one of the worst fonts ever used for a Horror film title. It's a little like a font I used to use called Earthquake, with lines on the sides indicating shaking, but it's way too comical for this application. Remember that, filmmakers: your title font choice helps determine the overall effect of your film!
The film's about a flying saucer crash in Texas which has released an alien. A pair of cops go to investigate a murder in a place called... wait for it... Satan's Hollow. Now if your town has a location called Satan's Hollow, you need to have a 24 hour watch on it. Seriously, every creep and motherfucker in town is going to be attracted to it and you'll find a body there every week, at least.
There's a lot of rock 'n roll dancing in the middle, but not a lot of horror or science fiction. In fact, which I enjoyed a fair portion of it, I was never really thrilled.
When we finally see the monster, supposedly a mutated Alligator, it's scary exactly how weak the costume is. In fact, some of the costumes wore by the teenagers are more frightening!
Slipstream (1989)
I gotta say, the cast of this one is amazing! Bill Paxton (or maybe it's Bill Pullman), Mark Hamill, F. Murray Abraham, Ben Kingsley, Robbie Coltrane. That's a solid group. Slipstream was also directed by TRON's director Steve Lisberger, with music credited to Elmer Bernstein! Of course, I don't think he did the awesome 1980s Guitar Rock anthem that plays during an overly-long flight scene.
And somehow it's still a terrible, terrible movie.
The weird thing is the story has so many elements that could have made for a great film. The world has suffered a great natural (or mostly natural) disaster. Hamill plays a cop, who is kinda a bad cop, and we're supposed to think Paxton is a rogue like Han Solo even though he's mostly a smuggler and criminal.
Of course, there's a brilliant moment when Mark Hamill is hit by an airplane and the PLANE takes damage! That was kinda bad ass.
It also continues something that Roger Ebert said years ago: no good ever came of a movie that featured Hot Air Balloons.
And somehow it's still a terrible, terrible movie.
The weird thing is the story has so many elements that could have made for a great film. The world has suffered a great natural (or mostly natural) disaster. Hamill plays a cop, who is kinda a bad cop, and we're supposed to think Paxton is a rogue like Han Solo even though he's mostly a smuggler and criminal.
Of course, there's a brilliant moment when Mark Hamill is hit by an airplane and the PLANE takes damage! That was kinda bad ass.
It also continues something that Roger Ebert said years ago: no good ever came of a movie that featured Hot Air Balloons.
Extra Terrestrial Visitors (1983)
This is, without a doubt, the best movie introduction song of the 1980s! It's synthpop in the best of all possible ways. Sort of half-way between Jan Hammer and Kraftwerk. I found myself rocking out to it! All who love Dark Wave should give it a try.
Now, the rest of the film? No.
This film is far better known as Pod People, which appeared on MST3K in 1991 and was easily one of their 3 or 4 best episodes! It's an incredibly bad and forgettable Spanish film. Right down to the Alf-like character who is called Trumpy. It's so bad. I've seen this movie at least a dozen times, but never on it's own. If this 100 films project is about testing my own Cinematic strength, then this film has proven me Samson!
Now, the rest of the film? No.
This film is far better known as Pod People, which appeared on MST3K in 1991 and was easily one of their 3 or 4 best episodes! It's an incredibly bad and forgettable Spanish film. Right down to the Alf-like character who is called Trumpy. It's so bad. I've seen this movie at least a dozen times, but never on it's own. If this 100 films project is about testing my own Cinematic strength, then this film has proven me Samson!
Star Knight (1986)
Klaus Kinsky. The zine is named after him! He's in this, along with Harvey Keitel. It's weird, since it takes place in Medieval times, and Harvey looks really good with the long hair and beard atop his horse. Of course, when he delivers his lines, they're completely out of place and sound like Medieval Times the restaurant/show instead of Medieavl times the times. It was weird.
Basically, the movie's about a knight who goes to fight a dragon who turns out to be a spaceship. It's an interesting concept, and I love watching it. It's not very good, it's fun and at times funny, but mostly it's just weirdly paced. It's petty, though. The costumes are really nice, actually looking a fair bit more like the things I've seen in the museums than those outfits I've seen over the years in these kinds of movies.Only Ladyhawke has ever gotten close to the right look as far as I'm concerned.
One of the great moments is right at the beginning. A Goat is on top of a rock, its owner's trying to get him come down, and when it jumps, it's 'magically' pulled up into the air! It's funny!
We do get a scene with the Green Knight which also feels out of Monty Python's & The Holy Grail.
I will say for the film that it's got a great tagline - It came from the Future to Conquer the Past! That's solid stuff.
Overall, it's not a great movie, it's kinda dumb at points, but it's freaklin' Shakespeare compared to other stuff on this DVD set!
Basically, the movie's about a knight who goes to fight a dragon who turns out to be a spaceship. It's an interesting concept, and I love watching it. It's not very good, it's fun and at times funny, but mostly it's just weirdly paced. It's petty, though. The costumes are really nice, actually looking a fair bit more like the things I've seen in the museums than those outfits I've seen over the years in these kinds of movies.Only Ladyhawke has ever gotten close to the right look as far as I'm concerned.
One of the great moments is right at the beginning. A Goat is on top of a rock, its owner's trying to get him come down, and when it jumps, it's 'magically' pulled up into the air! It's funny!
We do get a scene with the Green Knight which also feels out of Monty Python's & The Holy Grail.
I will say for the film that it's got a great tagline - It came from the Future to Conquer the Past! That's solid stuff.
Overall, it's not a great movie, it's kinda dumb at points, but it's freaklin' Shakespeare compared to other stuff on this DVD set!
Invaders from Space (1965)
This movie was cobbled together from a series of short films called Super Giant. The story is about a wonderful race from a nearby world called The Emerald Planet who send their champion, called Starman, to save Earth from The Salamander Men. They're actually kinda creepy, as they have no nose, but a weird, bumpy sort of ridge across the central portion of their face. They breathe this stuff that they can use use to control people's minds, and they laugh a lot in terrifying ways. At one point, one of them keeps laughing and slowly moves towards us, laughing directly into the camera.
The highlight of this one is the opening scene, where the Congress of the Emerald Planet meets. There are some really weird outfits, including those starfish-looking creatures from Warning from Space. There's also a fight scene that is mostly just tumbling passes by Starman and a Salamander Man. It's mostly flips and back-handsprings. Apparently, Cirque was HUGE in this version of Earth!
The highlight of this one is the opening scene, where the Congress of the Emerald Planet meets. There are some really weird outfits, including those starfish-looking creatures from Warning from Space. There's also a fight scene that is mostly just tumbling passes by Starman and a Salamander Man. It's mostly flips and back-handsprings. Apparently, Cirque was HUGE in this version of Earth!
The Alien Factor (1976)
Another Don Dohler picture using the height of 1978 video effects. Dohler passed away in 2006, leaving behind a long list of terrible movies. In this one, we start off with a couple making our in a car only to be attacked by a monster. I'll give it this, The Alien Factor got right down to it! That attack, though, was the height of inanity. He was pulled from the car, though the guy in the car really did almost all the work, and the editing did nothing to hide that fact.
Story? There are aliens, They're killing people. Ho-hum.
The alien is a monster with hairy legs and a weird upper-body. He's basically a bug-eyed monster on stilts. He moves really strangely, which I guess is due to the stilts, but even when he's stalking his prey, he's teetering and not at all menacing. The close up of its feet in the snow is the unintentionally funny highlight of the movie.
The acting is awful. There's one woman who is only there to scream, and she's not even good at it!
Story? There are aliens, They're killing people. Ho-hum.
The alien is a monster with hairy legs and a weird upper-body. He's basically a bug-eyed monster on stilts. He moves really strangely, which I guess is due to the stilts, but even when he's stalking his prey, he's teetering and not at all menacing. The close up of its feet in the snow is the unintentionally funny highlight of the movie.
The acting is awful. There's one woman who is only there to scream, and she's not even good at it!
Hyper Sapien: People from Another Star (1986)
I am praying that someone stole the name 'Peter R. Hunt' and used it to direct this piece of overly-cutesy crap instead of the awesome director of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, and editor of Goldfinger, From Russia With Love and Thunderball. It's not a terrible movie, but it's so damn precious! The music in particular is precious, at times cloying, and the sisters, who are run-aways from an Alien race that has been on Earth for a long time but is now leaving, are so very sweet.
I have to say that a lot of it is very pretty. The forest setting is well-used and some of the shooting is really presice. There's a nice touch of POV-handheld for the sight of a running alien creature. Of course, when we finally get a look at it, it's a kinda cool-looking three eyed puppet. It's weird, and apparently named Kirby. There's a great moment when one of the sisters, Robyn, says "Oh, Kirby, stop being so cute!"
Yes, that is a good piece of advice.
Now, this doesn't feel like a children's movie, but they are certainly building it to be a sentimental favorite.
The funny thing is that the forest, and old homestead stuff, is very pretty and well-done, on the other hand, whenever they show the aliens and their ship, it's amazingly awful and
And where they go to hide out has an old Philco Predicta TV! One of my all-time favorites!
It's not a great movie, I wouldn't even say it's a good movie, but it's watchable... barely. Just make an appointment for the dentist afterwards...
I have to say that a lot of it is very pretty. The forest setting is well-used and some of the shooting is really presice. There's a nice touch of POV-handheld for the sight of a running alien creature. Of course, when we finally get a look at it, it's a kinda cool-looking three eyed puppet. It's weird, and apparently named Kirby. There's a great moment when one of the sisters, Robyn, says "Oh, Kirby, stop being so cute!"
Yes, that is a good piece of advice.
Now, this doesn't feel like a children's movie, but they are certainly building it to be a sentimental favorite.
The funny thing is that the forest, and old homestead stuff, is very pretty and well-done, on the other hand, whenever they show the aliens and their ship, it's amazingly awful and
And where they go to hide out has an old Philco Predicta TV! One of my all-time favorites!
It's not a great movie, I wouldn't even say it's a good movie, but it's watchable... barely. Just make an appointment for the dentist afterwards...
Escape from Galaxy 3 (1981)
The first of the films to have a copious amount of nudity. Lots of toplessness, and a fair bit of tedious foreplay set to awful, awful music.
The funniest thing I've seen on any of these DVDs has to be the dance segment in this movie. It's just a combination of ridiculous and strange and the music is half-way between Disco and SynthPop and it's so very very strange that it almost made me get up and dance!
I'm not 100% sure what the plot is on this one. It's kinda old-time Space Opera-y, with a group of save travelers landing on a planet which is just enough like Earth to not require any new set direction or matte paintings, and they're being chased. I do know that the sets are atrocious! I mean, I've seen kids playing spaceship in Cardboard boxes that have put up better sets! The costumes aren't that much better, and the lead guy is desperately trying to be Harry Hamlin from Clash of the Titans! MAny of the others seem to have come to the production as cast-offs from the Ica Capades. It is good to see the classic form of laser as colored-in scratches on film, though!
The funniest thing I've seen on any of these DVDs has to be the dance segment in this movie. It's just a combination of ridiculous and strange and the music is half-way between Disco and SynthPop and it's so very very strange that it almost made me get up and dance!
I'm not 100% sure what the plot is on this one. It's kinda old-time Space Opera-y, with a group of save travelers landing on a planet which is just enough like Earth to not require any new set direction or matte paintings, and they're being chased. I do know that the sets are atrocious! I mean, I've seen kids playing spaceship in Cardboard boxes that have put up better sets! The costumes aren't that much better, and the lead guy is desperately trying to be Harry Hamlin from Clash of the Titans! MAny of the others seem to have come to the production as cast-offs from the Ica Capades. It is good to see the classic form of laser as colored-in scratches on film, though!
Welcome to Blood CIty (1977)
A nation of Amnesiacs. Apparently, they're all killers as well. Maybe not. It's hard to tell. It stars Jack Palance and Kier Dullea. That's right: the Cowboy and the dude from 2001: A Space Odyssey. There's a group of five folks and they wander and wander to solemn flute music as Happy Blue Font credits roll to start the thing. There is some truly wretched acting, particularly when one of the folks is shot and killed.
I couldn't help but think of two classic tales while watching the first moments of this film. The first was To Your Scattered Bodies Go by Philip Jose Farmer; the first of the Riverworld stories. The other was Westworld, though that may just have been because of Palance (and YES, I know it was Yul Brenner in Westworld, but it's the idea!) and then I came to it as The Hunger Games and The Prisoner. It's some sort of world under control, where when you arrive, you're either going to become a slave. It's kinda fascinating, and while some of it was very rough around the edges, it never bored me. With this set, that's a win!
WHere it does go a bit wrong is the runtime. It's 92 minutes, but at 60 minutes, it'd been a really solid little movie. At 92 minutes, things get stretched. THere are post-shooting words that don't need to be there. It's a little like The Village, too, but it's not overly good. It's decent, it's watchable, and in the end, it's got something that a lot of these films don't have: a solid story told, even if the pacing is a little weaker than I'd like. The movie does kinda just end. No more, just that happy blue font saying 'The End' and the credits roll with a jaunty flute and Bassoon number. It's weird.
I couldn't help but think of two classic tales while watching the first moments of this film. The first was To Your Scattered Bodies Go by Philip Jose Farmer; the first of the Riverworld stories. The other was Westworld, though that may just have been because of Palance (and YES, I know it was Yul Brenner in Westworld, but it's the idea!) and then I came to it as The Hunger Games and The Prisoner. It's some sort of world under control, where when you arrive, you're either going to become a slave. It's kinda fascinating, and while some of it was very rough around the edges, it never bored me. With this set, that's a win!
WHere it does go a bit wrong is the runtime. It's 92 minutes, but at 60 minutes, it'd been a really solid little movie. At 92 minutes, things get stretched. THere are post-shooting words that don't need to be there. It's a little like The Village, too, but it's not overly good. It's decent, it's watchable, and in the end, it's got something that a lot of these films don't have: a solid story told, even if the pacing is a little weaker than I'd like. The movie does kinda just end. No more, just that happy blue font saying 'The End' and the credits roll with a jaunty flute and Bassoon number. It's weird.
It's Alive! (1965)
We open with a lovely POV driving shot through the Ozark Plateau. It goes on long enough to make me wonder if American International Television just needed to pad out the run-time. There was a nice line of narration - "There's a story in these parts that says that when it rains and the sun shines, the Devil is kissin' his wife." That's dope!
The funny thing is that what's normally wrong with these movies is OK with this one. The score was done by Bernard Herrmann, one of the greatest film composers of all-time. The effects are by Rick Baker, the legendary Rick Baker, and they're not at all up to his usual quality, in fact the main monster looks pretty hokey, that's only because of the budget, I'm guessing.
The story is sorta a crass between Rosemary's Baby and that episode of the Twilight Zone where the kid turns his Dad into a Jack-n-The-Box. The baby kills when it's frightened, which is apparently quite frequently. It's awful talky, but then it's punctuated by the music and effects and it feels much better. The movie rolls on and there's some really hammy acting. I mean like High School Melodrama-level stuff. The one thing that really annoyed me was the cinematography. Weird close-ups, some very strange shots with large objects blocking huge amounts of a character, lighting that seems to make no sense logically and even less sense in terms of expression. I'm not sure what they were try, but for me it didn't work.
The funny thing is that what's normally wrong with these movies is OK with this one. The score was done by Bernard Herrmann, one of the greatest film composers of all-time. The effects are by Rick Baker, the legendary Rick Baker, and they're not at all up to his usual quality, in fact the main monster looks pretty hokey, that's only because of the budget, I'm guessing.
The story is sorta a crass between Rosemary's Baby and that episode of the Twilight Zone where the kid turns his Dad into a Jack-n-The-Box. The baby kills when it's frightened, which is apparently quite frequently. It's awful talky, but then it's punctuated by the music and effects and it feels much better. The movie rolls on and there's some really hammy acting. I mean like High School Melodrama-level stuff. The one thing that really annoyed me was the cinematography. Weird close-ups, some very strange shots with large objects blocking huge amounts of a character, lighting that seems to make no sense logically and even less sense in terms of expression. I'm not sure what they were try, but for me it didn't work.
Future Hunters (1986)
If you're looking for a rip-off of The Road Warrior, then look no further than Future Hunters! The opening, well after a spoken prologue over some supposedly Post-Apocalyptic people stuff that looks surprisingly like a wide spot along the road following Burning Man, is a car chase, that's not at all bad until after crashing, our 'hero' gets out of his car and blow up his pursuers, and a comically bad dummy flies out of the top of the 'ploded car.
Yeah, it's one of those movies...
This one stars Robert Patrick, who's usually good but here has almost nothing to work with. His character is very fond of snapping people's necks, and he does it a lot in a short period of time. It's his first listed film credit, who is good because if an experienced actor did a movie like this, I'd feel shame. Here, it's a bad movie, but at least it didn't waste the talents of Rick Baker like that last one!
Yeah, it's one of those movies...
This one stars Robert Patrick, who's usually good but here has almost nothing to work with. His character is very fond of snapping people's necks, and he does it a lot in a short period of time. It's his first listed film credit, who is good because if an experienced actor did a movie like this, I'd feel shame. Here, it's a bad movie, but at least it didn't waste the talents of Rick Baker like that last one!
The Creeping Terror (1964)
All I'm going to say about this film is this here formula for making a Film Monster in 1964
1 - A bunch of cardboard
2 - A bunch of Foam rubber
3 - a tarp large enough for two to three people to fit under it.
4- few pieces of felt cut to resemble Kermit the Frog's fringe.
5 - Someone willing to stand inside the world's worst monster costume.
1 - A bunch of cardboard
2 - A bunch of Foam rubber
3 - a tarp large enough for two to three people to fit under it.
4- few pieces of felt cut to resemble Kermit the Frog's fringe.
5 - Someone willing to stand inside the world's worst monster costume.
Trapped by Television (1936)
So, it's got Mary Astor (who I loved in The Maltese Falcon and had one of the hottest Hollywood scandals of all-time!) and Lyle Talbot, but the real highlight is Nat Pendleton!
Now, I hear you say, who exactly is Nat Pendleton? He was an Olympic Silver Medalist in wrestling, and one of America's best wrestlers in the late teens and early 1920s. He then became a pro wrestler, and was known for his physique. He was cast in some movies, became friendly with the Marx Brothers for example, and eventually became a regular in the Dr. Kildare films as Joe the Ambulance Driver. Here, he plays a bill collector (aka Thug) who has science as a hobby. It's an awesome little role for the guy, and he plays dumb really good for a guy who was, by all accounts, one of the smarter wrestlers of his day.
This is one of those great times when science was big in the public eye, and television was a hot new scientific device. Folks were talking about TV in those days like folks in the 80s were on about Cold Fusion or folks today about Nanotech. Still, this is a fun little movie over all.
Now, I hear you say, who exactly is Nat Pendleton? He was an Olympic Silver Medalist in wrestling, and one of America's best wrestlers in the late teens and early 1920s. He then became a pro wrestler, and was known for his physique. He was cast in some movies, became friendly with the Marx Brothers for example, and eventually became a regular in the Dr. Kildare films as Joe the Ambulance Driver. Here, he plays a bill collector (aka Thug) who has science as a hobby. It's an awesome little role for the guy, and he plays dumb really good for a guy who was, by all accounts, one of the smarter wrestlers of his day.
This is one of those great times when science was big in the public eye, and television was a hot new scientific device. Folks were talking about TV in those days like folks in the 80s were on about Cold Fusion or folks today about Nanotech. Still, this is a fun little movie over all.
Rocket Attack U.S.A. (1958)
THis is called a Cold War propaganda film by most sources. I dunno. My definition of Propaganda would need to expand quite a bit. It's more like Blocsploitation, as the Soviets are the bad guys and their sleeper agents are planning to blown up a significant portion of our fine country. Of course, we get bombed in the end, with a Mushroom cloud rising over NYC, which I hope didn't happen during a garbage strike as that would probably make the rest of the country uninhabitable.
Now, it's a story of a Spy who goes to Russia to figure out what the Soviets gained from the launch of Sputnik. Turns out it was quite a lot. There was real panic over Sputnik, and rightfully so. We lost the technological edge in space (in the more important aspects, such as computation and analysis, as well as logistics, we were still tops) so this kind of film is understandable.
It also contains the world slowest missile. I mean seriously, it makes the launch sequence in any James Bond film seem like it was directed by Tom Tykwer.
Now, it's a story of a Spy who goes to Russia to figure out what the Soviets gained from the launch of Sputnik. Turns out it was quite a lot. There was real panic over Sputnik, and rightfully so. We lost the technological edge in space (in the more important aspects, such as computation and analysis, as well as logistics, we were still tops) so this kind of film is understandable.
It also contains the world slowest missile. I mean seriously, it makes the launch sequence in any James Bond film seem like it was directed by Tom Tykwer.
Hundra (1983)
Hundra is from a tribe of Amazons and is the mightiest of their warriors. She's kinda bad ass, and she's got a good dog, too. The tribe has kicked out all the men and are forced to lay with them from time to time to keep producing children.
But there's only one reason to talk about this film - it's a fight scene. Laurene Landon plays Hundra, and she's a talk drink of water (she's was in ..All The Marbles as a female wrestler and i remember her lookign taller than Peter Falk) and at one point, as she going on the Crone-demanded quest to produce a daughter, she has to fight a little dude on a miniature horse. He has the upper hand for a while, circling her and scratching her and her horse with a trident, but eventually she wins. First off, why he's there, I dunno, second, this has no baring on the rest of the film, so far as I could tell. It does lead to a kinda artistic scene of Hundra and her horse cavorting naked in the waves, though.
The quality of the transfer isn't very good, inparticular the darker scene, but it's still watchable.
But there's only one reason to talk about this film - it's a fight scene. Laurene Landon plays Hundra, and she's a talk drink of water (she's was in ..All The Marbles as a female wrestler and i remember her lookign taller than Peter Falk) and at one point, as she going on the Crone-demanded quest to produce a daughter, she has to fight a little dude on a miniature horse. He has the upper hand for a while, circling her and scratching her and her horse with a trident, but eventually she wins. First off, why he's there, I dunno, second, this has no baring on the rest of the film, so far as I could tell. It does lead to a kinda artistic scene of Hundra and her horse cavorting naked in the waves, though.
The quality of the transfer isn't very good, inparticular the darker scene, but it's still watchable.
Mission Stardust (1967)
My ghod. Make it stop. Ouch. Just ouch...
Perry Rhodan is a long-running series of books (Translated from German) which were all sorts of fun. An Italian company made this dreadful film. You could argue that Perry Rhodan was internationally the most significant set of science fiction works ever published. They sold in huge number, some estimate more than a billion copies of the mor ethan thousand small issues. They're fun, at least in translation, but they're also not overly challenging. In fact, some are downright dumb.
Though nothing compared to the dumb that is this movie!
Perry Rhodan is a long-running series of books (Translated from German) which were all sorts of fun. An Italian company made this dreadful film. You could argue that Perry Rhodan was internationally the most significant set of science fiction works ever published. They sold in huge number, some estimate more than a billion copies of the mor ethan thousand small issues. They're fun, at least in translation, but they're also not overly challenging. In fact, some are downright dumb.
Though nothing compared to the dumb that is this movie!
Rocky Jones, Space Ranger - The Gypsy Moon (1954)
Well, another Rocky Jones movie. This one is still slow, and rather flat in the acting and sets, but there's a few very fun things. Vena is actually kinda magnetic. She's gorgeous, of course, and there's a lovely little scene where she's convincing the young boy on-board to read The Odyssey. It's a very well-done scene. She plays the translator very well.
The Jones Space Patrol team is flying about, encounter an 'Atmosphere Chain' with an airplane in it and a race of people who want to destroy the other race of people on their planet. It's a classic, Star Trek-like dilemma, and of course, it's done a bit too over-the-top. WHen the ship is hit with a ray of some sort, the guys fall asleep in a terribly comical way. I get it, it was the days of television acting,
This was far more watchable than the previous entries, so at least there's that!
The Jones Space Patrol team is flying about, encounter an 'Atmosphere Chain' with an airplane in it and a race of people who want to destroy the other race of people on their planet. It's a classic, Star Trek-like dilemma, and of course, it's done a bit too over-the-top. WHen the ship is hit with a ray of some sort, the guys fall asleep in a terribly comical way. I get it, it was the days of television acting,
This was far more watchable than the previous entries, so at least there's that!
The Brother from Another Planet (1984)
This is the film I've been waiting for. Directed by John Sayles, one of my all-time favorite directors. He understands ambiguities better than almost any other director who ever lived. The endings of films like Limbo tell that story. Here, we're presented with the landing of an alien, played mute by Joe Morton. He's injured in the landing, losing a foot which he then grows back. He goes through Harlem, encountering people and trying to make sense of a world he can't really interact with. Later, he's chased by a pair of hunters, played by David Straithairn and John Sayles himself! It never feels like a typical science fiction film. It's also not just a fish out of water film. It's an exploration of a slice of Harlem, of the bar he wanders into, of the streets. The Brother takes a drink, reacts to it like he's just sipped hydrochloric acid, but it happens among the kind of bartalk that exists in every bar in the world. There's a video game player complaining about the quality of the game, and there's a guy talking about how Haitians have diseases. The over-lapping dialogue, the strange pattern of the long and beautiful scene establishes the tone of the film, and it's wonderful. The direction is so precise, and the script gives Morton so much room to wander through his character.
What's incredible here is the simplicity of the story, and then presentation of the characters. The idea is he's silent, he wants to be helpful, and he often is, but he is now dropped into a world where he understands but is not able to put out any but the most simplistic of communications. It's so smart, and it's weird that it's included on this set of movies, but it's a WONDERFUL film that I am so glad I get to watch again!
What's incredible here is the simplicity of the story, and then presentation of the characters. The idea is he's silent, he wants to be helpful, and he often is, but he is now dropped into a world where he understands but is not able to put out any but the most simplistic of communications. It's so smart, and it's weird that it's included on this set of movies, but it's a WONDERFUL film that I am so glad I get to watch again!
Battle Beyond the Sun (1962)
Another dubbed Russian science fiction film, but this one has the added bonus of Francis Ford Coppola. He directed a couple of scenes, including a space monster battle, and got Carmine Coppola to do the music. The music's really pretty good, and for the dubs, it's not bad. The cinematography that the Russians did was really Russian. Watch the various Soviet films of the day, with multi-layered tracking shots and lots of gliding. It works and shows why Soviet Science Fiction was so impressive. I'd love to find a set of Soviet-era SciFi classics in their original forms. I mean, everyone's seen Solaris, but there were so many other great films from that era and the dubbed formats almost all suck.
The opening sequence was a look at the various matters of spaceships. It's unrelated to the film, but they do show some cool early model work being done by NASA.
The idea of a Post-Nuclear Earth where there are two Governments - one for the North and one for the South Hemispheres, is a cool one, and watching how the story plays out, and e3specially the model-work, is kinda cool...if you can look past the weak dubbing script.
The opening sequence was a look at the various matters of spaceships. It's unrelated to the film, but they do show some cool early model work being done by NASA.
The idea of a Post-Nuclear Earth where there are two Governments - one for the North and one for the South Hemispheres, is a cool one, and watching how the story plays out, and e3specially the model-work, is kinda cool...if you can look past the weak dubbing script.
Footprints on the Moon (1975)
There's a another of the dubbed films, the only difference here is that it's perhaps the most boring film ever made. The first half-hour is a lot like watching My Dinner with Andre, only with less excitement. The camerawork is good, like in all these European films, but it's talk and talk and talk, and the dubbing don't help.
So, a translator has lost three days of time, and she goes to an Island she has remembered from a dream, or so she thinks. She goes to the city of Gama, and then finds that she's been there. She's also had visions of astronauts on the moon. It's weird, and there's Klaus Kinsky, too!
More than half of this film is long stares, weird conversations, and awkward pauses. It's weird, and I was hardly able to keep myself awake, but I really wanted to know what was going on, because while the plot wasn't bad, it was also weak and strange in the way it was delivered.
So, a translator has lost three days of time, and she goes to an Island she has remembered from a dream, or so she thinks. She goes to the city of Gama, and then finds that she's been there. She's also had visions of astronauts on the moon. It's weird, and there's Klaus Kinsky, too!
More than half of this film is long stares, weird conversations, and awkward pauses. It's weird, and I was hardly able to keep myself awake, but I really wanted to know what was going on, because while the plot wasn't bad, it was also weak and strange in the way it was delivered.
Morons from Outer Space (1985)
For a film called Morons from Outer Space, this sure wasn't a stupid movie. It's not the smartest film ever made, but it's a lot smarter than I gave it credit for. It was directed by Mike Hodges, the director of films like Get Carter and Croupier. He has a talent for characters, and in Morons from Outer Space, he's got Mel Smith, the wonderful comedic actor who just recently passed away.
This is the story of a group of Aliens who have come to Earth, abandoning Bernard (Smith), who is left on their ship playing spaceball. The landers become celebrities, while Bernard, once he lands, is put in a mental hospital.
It's actually whacky fun!
This is the story of a group of Aliens who have come to Earth, abandoning Bernard (Smith), who is left on their ship playing spaceball. The landers become celebrities, while Bernard, once he lands, is put in a mental hospital.
It's actually whacky fun!
Alien Prey (1978)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think this started life as two scripts that some English film executive shuffled together. The first was a terrible script about an alien attack and a landing spaceship and a monster amnesiac from space. The second was a story about a pair of lesbians lovers - one an obsessive and nervy sort, the other young and yearning to be free. It's a weird mixture, and the alien is basically some sort of anthropomorphic cat-like being who turns people all bloody. T
The movie's oddly paced, and the nice guy visitor Mr. Anderson who is also the killer cat-like alien, is weirdly annoying in everything. There's a slightly bizarre dinner scene where it's revealed that Mr. Anderson can't eat veg and that the pair are lovers. It's insanely strange, and not entirely enjoyable much of the way. There's an interesting love scene that's actually kinda sensual in its awkwardness. it's rather strangely shot, and one of our young lovers seems really into it, while the other makes pained noises. It was weird, but then there's a long sort of mud bog near-drowning scene that makes it look totally normal...
The movie's oddly paced, and the nice guy visitor Mr. Anderson who is also the killer cat-like alien, is weirdly annoying in everything. There's a slightly bizarre dinner scene where it's revealed that Mr. Anderson can't eat veg and that the pair are lovers. It's insanely strange, and not entirely enjoyable much of the way. There's an interesting love scene that's actually kinda sensual in its awkwardness. it's rather strangely shot, and one of our young lovers seems really into it, while the other makes pained noises. It was weird, but then there's a long sort of mud bog near-drowning scene that makes it look totally normal...
Future Women (1969)
Well, on a set this cheaply produced, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Basically, the movie wouldn't play. That's not to say that there weren't images on the screen, but they came and went about bounced around the disk. So, according to what I saw, here's a review - Apparently Machu Pichu is right next to a Southern California airport, and people in a semi-Brazil-looking place are walking around. Shirley Eaton shows up, and there are guys in hats, and some fighting, then credits.
I may have enjoyed it more this way than if I'd watched the whole thing!
I may have enjoyed it more this way than if I'd watched the whole thing!
Star Pilot (1977)
There was still some skipping on this one, but it wasn't nearly as bad.
The film, however, was bad bad bad.
The best moment is a single line - "I don't know who it was, but maybe they're secret agents!"
This was made in 1969, then dubbed and released in 1977 when Star Wars was such a big hit. That happened a lot, and there was an explosion in SciFi films, many of which were slapdash and quickly crapped out after Star Wars hit. There were so many foreign science fiction films that there was no shortage, but they didn't do as well because what the producers didn't understand was it wasn't Science Fiction that was drawing people, but it was the effects, the sense of wonder it inspired, and these films just did not supply that.
The film, however, was bad bad bad.
The best moment is a single line - "I don't know who it was, but maybe they're secret agents!"
This was made in 1969, then dubbed and released in 1977 when Star Wars was such a big hit. That happened a lot, and there was an explosion in SciFi films, many of which were slapdash and quickly crapped out after Star Wars hit. There were so many foreign science fiction films that there was no shortage, but they didn't do as well because what the producers didn't understand was it wasn't Science Fiction that was drawing people, but it was the effects, the sense of wonder it inspired, and these films just did not supply that.
Assassin (1986)
Bad ass. The opening scene of this stinkfest is actually incredibly awesome. Basically, a guy comes into a government agency and steals some files, kills a guy by snapping his neck with one hand, and then when a woman tries to pull a gun from her purse, kicks her desk sending both her and the desk flying backwards and crushing her against a wall! It was awesome!
It's a paranoid tale of a rouge CIA Super-Assassin and the team put together to catch him. It's got Robert Conrad, which is always a fun deal. Sadly, every scene seems to go on forever, and for some reason it's incredibly hard to pull a gun out of a purse.
It's also awesome that there's a discussion of Asimov's Laws of Robotics, and how they completely ignored them in creating a robot (called Golem!) that kills for the Agency. There's also the world's most out-dated looking computer mainframe set. Seriously, it looks like the inside of a low-rent TARDIS built for a fan film. It's so incredibly lame, and it would have looked exactly as lame in 1986!
There's also a lot of the Cyborg jumping out of windows.
It's a paranoid tale of a rouge CIA Super-Assassin and the team put together to catch him. It's got Robert Conrad, which is always a fun deal. Sadly, every scene seems to go on forever, and for some reason it's incredibly hard to pull a gun out of a purse.
It's also awesome that there's a discussion of Asimov's Laws of Robotics, and how they completely ignored them in creating a robot (called Golem!) that kills for the Agency. There's also the world's most out-dated looking computer mainframe set. Seriously, it looks like the inside of a low-rent TARDIS built for a fan film. It's so incredibly lame, and it would have looked exactly as lame in 1986!
There's also a lot of the Cyborg jumping out of windows.
Fugitive Alien (1986)
Another Japanese TV Series turned into a feature film. Why am I getting so tired of these? Maybe it's because no matter how you cut it up and reassemble, it never feels like a purpose-made movie. That's not true of the few times it's happened in the US, like with Cruel Intentions 2 (which starred Amy Adams!) and Mulholland Dr..
The series was called Star Force, and it was based on an Edmond Hamilton series of novels. I'd like to read that book, I seldom read Science Fiction from that era, but I understand that the Japanese were very keen on his work!
And why they made a crappy series like this to celebrate his work, I'll never know!
The series was called Star Force, and it was based on an Edmond Hamilton series of novels. I'd like to read that book, I seldom read Science Fiction from that era, but I understand that the Japanese were very keen on his work!
And why they made a crappy series like this to celebrate his work, I'll never know!
Rocky Jones: Beyond the Moon
I'm not sure why, but this episode really sucks, even when compared with the other Rocky Jones films. Part of it might be that Rocky is all sexist, pretty much insisting that Vena doesn't participate in the mission. It's a weird mission, Rocky and crew are given shore leave, but the Scientist and young Billy (or is it Bobby, I know can keep them straight) announce that they are no longer Space Rangers, and Rocky's all 'But Bobby (or is it Billy?)'s ALWAYS wanted to be a Space Ranger!" and then they go off into Space.
Evil Galactic Politicians are Evil, and the whole is kinda slapdash and boring.
Evil Galactic Politicians are Evil, and the whole is kinda slapdash and boring.
The Crater Lake Monster (1977)
There are some great models and monster work in this one. I'd never seen it, which is somewhat surprising, and while that's a diamond set in a band of tinfoil, it's still pretty impressive. The sight of the monster out of the lake, screaming is pure Harryhausen. The choice of the young couple who encounter it to burn the boat when confronted with the monster is the perfect example of the problem with this film. There's great work, good models, nice shooting, but at the same time, there are issues with the central LOGIC of the script, with the way things happen.
And even with those problems, it's still one of the better films on this collection, and the transfer is nice and clear and even the sound is pretty good!
The film is your basic Monster that no one believes in until it's too late film, but with an Oregon Country sorta feel. The acting ranges from Meh to Annoying Meh, and there are a lot of Owl Hoots added to give just a touch more country to the feel of the film.
And even with those problems, it's still one of the better films on this collection, and the transfer is nice and clear and even the sound is pretty good!
The film is your basic Monster that no one believes in until it's too late film, but with an Oregon Country sorta feel. The acting ranges from Meh to Annoying Meh, and there are a lot of Owl Hoots added to give just a touch more country to the feel of the film.
Raiders of Atlantis (1983)
I'm not 100% sure what this Italian film was trying to do. There's a group of scientists looking for the secret to Atlantis who have a tablet that supposedly tells the secret of Atlantis. And for some reason there's a group of Road Warrior-esque motorcyclarians who attack a couple. Then there are a group of tough guy semi-pirates, one of which used to be called Washington, now known as Muhammad after he's cleaned up his act.
The acting's OK, though the sound mix here is way off, and the dubbing is awful. There is one excellent moment. When they've discovered an island (or maybe they just landed on one, and maybe it was Atlantis), they find a guy covered in a sheet like a 1950s television sitcom ghost, hanged on a ceiling fan over a jukebox, and that caused him to hit the jukebox making the record skip. That was kinda creepy.
And after watching it all the way through, I am still not sure about the Road Warrior folks...
At the end, it turns out Atlantis is run by the girls from that Robert Palmer video, so there's that.
The acting's OK, though the sound mix here is way off, and the dubbing is awful. There is one excellent moment. When they've discovered an island (or maybe they just landed on one, and maybe it was Atlantis), they find a guy covered in a sheet like a 1950s television sitcom ghost, hanged on a ceiling fan over a jukebox, and that caused him to hit the jukebox making the record skip. That was kinda creepy.
And after watching it all the way through, I am still not sure about the Road Warrior folks...
At the end, it turns out Atlantis is run by the girls from that Robert Palmer video, so there's that.
Robo Vampire (1988)
Wow, this one really jumps right into it. Not more than a minute in and there's a pair of American's with assault rifles, a cobras blown up, and a brawl with a hopping vampire.
At that point, I pretty much knew what I was getting into.
Basically, a Narcotics agent is turned into a Robonarc and is sent into the Golden Triangle to save a kidnapped (and quite lovely!) undercover agent. Of course, he goes up against the Hopping Vampires, and then it's all nutty.
The dubbing is exactly what you'd expect from a Hong Kong-style action film.
Best line, uttered while lighting stick incense and placing it on an altar - "Bless our drugs!"
At that point, I pretty much knew what I was getting into.
Basically, a Narcotics agent is turned into a Robonarc and is sent into the Golden Triangle to save a kidnapped (and quite lovely!) undercover agent. Of course, he goes up against the Hopping Vampires, and then it's all nutty.
The dubbing is exactly what you'd expect from a Hong Kong-style action film.
Best line, uttered while lighting stick incense and placing it on an altar - "Bless our drugs!"
Horror High (1974)
Well, if they'd had an actual effects budget, and budget for real actors, and maybe some better equipment, this could have been a really neat little film. As it is, it's one of the more fun films on this set.
The Teenage Horror Film goes back to the 1950s, and the Jeckel & Hyde film further back, of course. This one's about Vernon , a nerdy science-loving kid who has a crush on the lovely young Robin, who also happens to be a Jock's girlfriend. Vernor is turned into the monster after being forced to drink a potion he created for his chemistry class after his experimental guinea pig, Mr. Mumps, accidentally killed the Janitor's cat. It's what starts Vernon on a trip of revenge, drinking the potion and killing those who have wronged him, starting with the Janitor. It's kinda fun, and the music is decent, though as a killer, he's not exactly very stealthy. He tries to live as both killer and school kid, but it gets harder and harder. He and Robin have a lovely scene together as they're 'studying', but mostly, it's Vernon being all killer-y that gets the attention. Some of the kills are creative, especially killing the coach by stomping him with a pair of cleats, and the effects are cheap-looking, which makes sense as it appears the film had a budget of about 50 dollars and a twelve-pack of Coke. Still, some of the cinematography is really smart, and the editing ain't bad either.
There is a case to be made for remakes, and I've avoided talking about it long enough. If you took this script, maybe tightened up the dialogue a bit, and then shot it with better effects, with a cleaner lens, with better actors, it could work so much better. This is EXACTLY the kind of movie that should be remade: flawed films that need to be brought to a new audience through improved technology; not masterpieces that were just shot in black + white or with subtitles.
The Teenage Horror Film goes back to the 1950s, and the Jeckel & Hyde film further back, of course. This one's about Vernon , a nerdy science-loving kid who has a crush on the lovely young Robin, who also happens to be a Jock's girlfriend. Vernor is turned into the monster after being forced to drink a potion he created for his chemistry class after his experimental guinea pig, Mr. Mumps, accidentally killed the Janitor's cat. It's what starts Vernon on a trip of revenge, drinking the potion and killing those who have wronged him, starting with the Janitor. It's kinda fun, and the music is decent, though as a killer, he's not exactly very stealthy. He tries to live as both killer and school kid, but it gets harder and harder. He and Robin have a lovely scene together as they're 'studying', but mostly, it's Vernon being all killer-y that gets the attention. Some of the kills are creative, especially killing the coach by stomping him with a pair of cleats, and the effects are cheap-looking, which makes sense as it appears the film had a budget of about 50 dollars and a twelve-pack of Coke. Still, some of the cinematography is really smart, and the editing ain't bad either.
There is a case to be made for remakes, and I've avoided talking about it long enough. If you took this script, maybe tightened up the dialogue a bit, and then shot it with better effects, with a cleaner lens, with better actors, it could work so much better. This is EXACTLY the kind of movie that should be remade: flawed films that need to be brought to a new audience through improved technology; not masterpieces that were just shot in black + white or with subtitles.
Galaxina (1980)
Dorothy Straton. She had a huge career ahead of her and she was killed. This is her most notable movie, though her Playboy spread is probably the most notable work she did, as this is one of the worst pieces of trash I've ever watched.
First off, the credits and effects of this one are so much better than anything I've seen on the disks so far. It looks years ahead of its time. The camerawork is solid, the models are pretty good, the model is pretty, and the transfer is excellent. There's a singing alien that makes no sense and has nothing on the 5th Element's Operatic scene.
I get that this was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but at the same time it's so lame, and sadly, Straton wasn't very good. It had a decent budget, obviously, The costumes, especially for the lamely conceived aliens, are actually awesome. Again, this is a film that could be remade without remorse.
First off, the credits and effects of this one are so much better than anything I've seen on the disks so far. It looks years ahead of its time. The camerawork is solid, the models are pretty good, the model is pretty, and the transfer is excellent. There's a singing alien that makes no sense and has nothing on the 5th Element's Operatic scene.
I get that this was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but at the same time it's so lame, and sadly, Straton wasn't very good. It had a decent budget, obviously, The costumes, especially for the lamely conceived aliens, are actually awesome. Again, this is a film that could be remade without remorse.
Night of the Blood Beast (1958)
Well, not the first 1950s B-movie on this set, but this one bugs me less. It's got some decent acting, the sets are OK, there's some sub-standard animation, though nothing too terrible, and I love the organ music.
The story seems to be a bit like The Thing from Another Planet, a guy dies, he comes back and he's infested with a monster alien-like thing. Sorta. It's not a bad story at all, it's fun, the acting's a touch below par for the time as it goes on, and the costume for the monster is really, really bad. I mean, it's not quite as bad as the Creeping Terror, but it ain't great.
The film's decent, and I can see how MST3K would have had a field day with it. It was a decent black & white picture, but it wasn't anything special.
The story seems to be a bit like The Thing from Another Planet, a guy dies, he comes back and he's infested with a monster alien-like thing. Sorta. It's not a bad story at all, it's fun, the acting's a touch below par for the time as it goes on, and the costume for the monster is really, really bad. I mean, it's not quite as bad as the Creeping Terror, but it ain't great.
The film's decent, and I can see how MST3K would have had a field day with it. It was a decent black & white picture, but it wasn't anything special.
The Manster (1959)
Arguably the film with the stupidest title turns out to be not very stupid at all. It's very similar, and a good deal better than, The Thing With Two Heads, or that part of Army of Darkness where Bruce Campbell's Ash grows Bad Ash. It's interesting, as that's the science fiction element, but the far more impressive part is the Japan-US co-production part. There's a fair bit of the classic 'I have an American Wife and a ___ girlfriend' and the idea that you become a monster interiorly if you become a monster exteriorly. There are a lot of impressive themes here, and a lot of traditional science fiction fun. While some of the effects aren't great, the story got me and the acting, which over-the-top at point, wasn't deplorable.
Evil Brain From Outer Space (1965)
You know, I am surprised it took me this long to realise that the character Starman from these awful, awful films is the inspiration for Starman, the character from the Nintendo Entertainment System game Pro Wrestling.
Lots of flipping and kicking in this one. It's kinda fun, the Japanese equivalent of the early Chinese martial arts films, but the fact that they took three different movies, with three different plots, edited them down into a single feature and dubbed the hell out of it.
Then again, any film with a preserved brain as the villain is a good one!
Lots of flipping and kicking in this one. It's kinda fun, the Japanese equivalent of the early Chinese martial arts films, but the fact that they took three different movies, with three different plots, edited them down into a single feature and dubbed the hell out of it.
Then again, any film with a preserved brain as the villain is a good one!
The Bat (1959)
Vincent Price. Agnes Moorehead. Love it!
This has to be one of the best films on the set, especially with the cast. Lots of great actors, and not just Price and Moorehead, but the story's pretty good, too! Basically, a Bank manager has stolen a million dollars from the bank, and then tries to get his doctor to help him fake his death. Of course, the good doctor murders him to get the million all to himself. Agnes Moorhead plays Cordelia Van Gorder, a crime writer who has rented the big ol' house of the Bank manager. At the same time, a killer called The Bat is active, killing women.
The fun bits are when The Bat gets into the house and Moorehead and her housekeeper, Lizzy, and when we get to see Price's Dr. Wells doing his experiments with bats. That's endlessly excellent. Moorehead and Price are enough to make this watchable, but the screenplay's good and the score is excellent. It's also got Darla Hood, the former Little Rascal, in her final film performance.
And Vincent Price does an awesome Judo throw! That was SWEET!!!!!
This has to be one of the best films on the set, especially with the cast. Lots of great actors, and not just Price and Moorehead, but the story's pretty good, too! Basically, a Bank manager has stolen a million dollars from the bank, and then tries to get his doctor to help him fake his death. Of course, the good doctor murders him to get the million all to himself. Agnes Moorhead plays Cordelia Van Gorder, a crime writer who has rented the big ol' house of the Bank manager. At the same time, a killer called The Bat is active, killing women.
The fun bits are when The Bat gets into the house and Moorehead and her housekeeper, Lizzy, and when we get to see Price's Dr. Wells doing his experiments with bats. That's endlessly excellent. Moorehead and Price are enough to make this watchable, but the screenplay's good and the score is excellent. It's also got Darla Hood, the former Little Rascal, in her final film performance.
And Vincent Price does an awesome Judo throw! That was SWEET!!!!!
Life Returns (1935)
This purports to be a recreation of ACTUAL EVENTS that happened at Berkeley where they brought an animal back to life. The setting of the scene that they're at the college is pretty slapdash. They start off with close-ups of dorm food, and then a montage of typical college events, most notably football and graduation.
Of course, there were three of them who came up with the Life After Death technique, but one of them leaves Berkeley and goes to business and makes a huge splash. That's when the fun starts. The film tells the oldest story in research - an Academic goes Corporate and sees his serious research ignored in favor of pointless assignments outside his field of import. It features a really neat little scene where our 'hero' presents to a medical gathering and he goes all Great Man on the gathering, presenting like he's Orson Welles in Citizen Kane. And then they get all nutty after the Doctor loses his job.
There's also his kid, and he goes to Juvy after his mother dies, and the movie focuses on him a little too much. It turns it into a bit of an Afterschool Special, but at the same time, it's a weaker way to tell this story.
This isn't a bad movie, maybe a slight step back from The Bat, but it's also a lot of fun.
Of course, there were three of them who came up with the Life After Death technique, but one of them leaves Berkeley and goes to business and makes a huge splash. That's when the fun starts. The film tells the oldest story in research - an Academic goes Corporate and sees his serious research ignored in favor of pointless assignments outside his field of import. It features a really neat little scene where our 'hero' presents to a medical gathering and he goes all Great Man on the gathering, presenting like he's Orson Welles in Citizen Kane. And then they get all nutty after the Doctor loses his job.
There's also his kid, and he goes to Juvy after his mother dies, and the movie focuses on him a little too much. It turns it into a bit of an Afterschool Special, but at the same time, it's a weaker way to tell this story.
This isn't a bad movie, maybe a slight step back from The Bat, but it's also a lot of fun.
The Giant of Metropolis (1961)
Another Italian dubbed piece of fantasy centered around a strong man, in this case Ohro, and his battle against a super villain, in this case Yoh-tar. He's the old-timey version of a Bond villain. He uses Super-Science to restore people to rule over his roost and Ohro is trying to stop him from being all meglomaniacal.
So, Ohro's basically a 'roided-up James Bond!
This is OK, actually better put-together than the other Italian dubs, but it's still kinda stiff and weird. Yoh-tar's fun, he's trying to give his son eternal youth and is all British Aristocracy about it, which is fun. The scenes where people cry are almost humorous! The music ain't bad, though, and a fair bit of the cinematography is really interesting, and not interesting in the 'We don't know what we're doing, so we're trying everything' sort of way, but in the 'this'll cover up our lack of budget' sort of way!
So, Ohro's basically a 'roided-up James Bond!
This is OK, actually better put-together than the other Italian dubs, but it's still kinda stiff and weird. Yoh-tar's fun, he's trying to give his son eternal youth and is all British Aristocracy about it, which is fun. The scenes where people cry are almost humorous! The music ain't bad, though, and a fair bit of the cinematography is really interesting, and not interesting in the 'We don't know what we're doing, so we're trying everything' sort of way, but in the 'this'll cover up our lack of budget' sort of way!
R.O.T.O.R. (1988)
Woohoo! Another RoboCop rip-off!
OK, it's not quite that simple, but there were a lot of these in the 1987 through 1992 timeframe. This one sees a guy who builds robots to defend the streets of Dallas, but one of his Robot-cops breaks free of his lab, and goes all ape-shit on Big D!
Now, you know the screenwriter's having a hard time when you look at the techniques they use. Basically, the movie starts with a scrolling description of the basic concept, setting the table for the story. Then, we get a little bit of hot arresting action, followed by the story of the inventor of the Robots in voice-over. That's followed by MORE VOICE-OVER and a long flashback, followed by more long VOICE-OVER. I mean seriously, more of Citizen Kane takes places in the present than R.O.T.O.R! I can be very much impressed with proper voice-over, or even talking to the camera. Blade Runner? Best version has VO. Election, 24 Hour Party People, all of them use it well and properly. Here, it's just lazy.
It's bad, and I mean really bad. There's even a jaunty country song early that I would normally love, but here it just feels like trying too hard.
OK, it's not quite that simple, but there were a lot of these in the 1987 through 1992 timeframe. This one sees a guy who builds robots to defend the streets of Dallas, but one of his Robot-cops breaks free of his lab, and goes all ape-shit on Big D!
Now, you know the screenwriter's having a hard time when you look at the techniques they use. Basically, the movie starts with a scrolling description of the basic concept, setting the table for the story. Then, we get a little bit of hot arresting action, followed by the story of the inventor of the Robots in voice-over. That's followed by MORE VOICE-OVER and a long flashback, followed by more long VOICE-OVER. I mean seriously, more of Citizen Kane takes places in the present than R.O.T.O.R! I can be very much impressed with proper voice-over, or even talking to the camera. Blade Runner? Best version has VO. Election, 24 Hour Party People, all of them use it well and properly. Here, it's just lazy.
It's bad, and I mean really bad. There's even a jaunty country song early that I would normally love, but here it just feels like trying too hard.
Death Machines (1976)
Wow, this is the worst thing to come out of Bruce Lee's Enter The Dragon period of films. It's one of the worst films I've ever seen, with crappy acting, three Martial Arts cops who are awful at the martial arts, a really lame storyline, and several of the most racist characterizations you'll find in 1970s films. I mean, this wasn't quite Birth of a Nation, but it still featured a 'Dragon Lady' who was the leader of a group of killers.
This is so bad it's not worth watching, and yet, I did. The whole thing. The entire sixty-six hours of incredibly terrible acting.
Wait, there are three martial arts fighters, only one of which seems to known any martial arts, but there's also an irritated African-American Police Captain? And one of our martial artists is roughly analogous to Kareem Abdul-Jabar in his martial arts film? Maybe this does deserve some serious attention.
This is so bad it's not worth watching, and yet, I did. The whole thing. The entire sixty-six hours of incredibly terrible acting.
Wait, there are three martial arts fighters, only one of which seems to known any martial arts, but there's also an irritated African-American Police Captain? And one of our martial artists is roughly analogous to Kareem Abdul-Jabar in his martial arts film? Maybe this does deserve some serious attention.
Abraxas - Guardian of the Universe (1990)
OK, so this is a Jesse The Body Ventura vehicle, which means at least he'll be interesting. It's kinda a combination of a buddy cop picture and the Green Lantern mythos. Abraxas is a Finder, something of a Universe cop, who has a box that allows him to test for the Anti-Life Equation. There's a Wikipedia entry for it, but I refuse to look it up!
There's a kid who is the child of Abraxas' partner Secundus, and a mom, and Abraxas' partner is a bad guy, and on and on and on. The script is ridiculous, the acting's exactly what you expect, save for Jesse, and there's a Jim Belushi cameo. It's not very good, but at least it's not very long.
There's a kid who is the child of Abraxas' partner Secundus, and a mom, and Abraxas' partner is a bad guy, and on and on and on. The script is ridiculous, the acting's exactly what you expect, save for Jesse, and there's a Jim Belushi cameo. It's not very good, but at least it's not very long.
Rocky Jones Space Ranger - Silver Needle in the Sky (1954)
First off, there's a Rocky Jones wiki at http://rockyjones.wikia.com/wiki/Rocky_Jones_Wiki. I had no idea. It's actually kinda snarky and fun to read!
The story is pretty simple - there's a Universal Peace Conference and Rocky Jones has to take a few folks to it. It's a pretty simple job, and he selects Veena as his navigator (and says "You better be sure to pack your lipstick." and Vena replies "Why, I require that more than Oxygen!")
Of course, Cleolantha is unhappy that SHE wasn't invited, and thus plans to destroy Rocky Jones and ruin the conference. I gotta say, while Vena feels like the 1950s vision of woman space rangers might be wearing, Cleolantha looks like she'd be most comfortable hosting a 1950s dinner party.
And it's oddly appropriate that this is the last film in the series of 100 being that there were more Rocky Jones movies than any other NOT about Hercules!
The story is pretty simple - there's a Universal Peace Conference and Rocky Jones has to take a few folks to it. It's a pretty simple job, and he selects Veena as his navigator (and says "You better be sure to pack your lipstick." and Vena replies "Why, I require that more than Oxygen!")
Of course, Cleolantha is unhappy that SHE wasn't invited, and thus plans to destroy Rocky Jones and ruin the conference. I gotta say, while Vena feels like the 1950s vision of woman space rangers might be wearing, Cleolantha looks like she'd be most comfortable hosting a 1950s dinner party.
And it's oddly appropriate that this is the last film in the series of 100 being that there were more Rocky Jones movies than any other NOT about Hercules!